"Good job blowing up the Death Star, Luke - but did you really have to lose so many pilots?"
"You tell me Leia. You had a pretty good view from behind your desk."

'Of Mouse Droids and Men' - C3PO and R2D2 travel Tatooine looking for work on moisture farms, but C3PO is struggling to manage his friend's erratic behaviour - always risking good work to go search for his Obi-Wan Kenobi. C3PO eventually has to shoot his friend after he accidentally knocks Beru into the Sarlaac pit.

Yeah, but Luke's talents are offset by his short-sightededness, and he repeatedly needs rescued: he goes to look at the Tusken Raiders, gets beaten up, and Obi-Wan saves him; he gets picked on in Mos Eisley, quite understandably fails to talk the abrasive drunk down, and Obi-Wan saves him; his rescue plan only half…

The only time the Imperial troops are crappy is RotJ. In ANH, they make short work of the rebels on Princess Leia's ship, and only let Leia, Luke, and Han escape because Vader orders them to; in ESB, the troops successfully storm Echo Base - Leia et al escape from Bespin but it's not easy for them; in RotJ they are…

I think it's unfair to call Rogue One a Dark Forces rehash (though I loved those games and would be happy if it turned out they were taking a lead from them). If you give the remit 'story about the theft of the Death Star plans' to several people you'll likely get a fair few recurring similarities. New stormtrooper…

Oh God I hope not. At best those kind of endings muster a smile from the audience in the cinema - 'I know this bit, huh-huh'; but they make everything seem small and contrived.

People can be highly skilled with melee weapons without being Jedi Knights. They couldn't do it with Rey because she's the first female main protagonist and they're obviously being careful with meddling with the formula, but in future I'd love to see a Star Wars protagonist without force powers succeed purely on the…

I truly struggle to think of a character from the originals people wouldn't get jazzed seeing in a trailer. Maybe the Ewoks and the elephant dude in Jabba's band.

Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

Aw yeah - all my cynicism about the spin offs evaporated completely by the time we saw the classic, starkly lit Star Destroyers.

"Lucas was apparently irritated that fans really thought Boba Fett was cool after ESB, so that contributed to his decision to dispatch Fett with a slapstick death."

I'd say George Lucas is a really bad example of pandering to fans - yeah, we got more Boba Fett and Chewbacca than perhaps made sense, but that's it. It would have been easier for him to model the prequels entirely on the original trilogy - see all the praise given J.J. Abrams and Disney for transplanting so much of…

Ahsoka and Maul are great characters - and they've obviously lots of potential for future stories - but I half wish Lucasfilm were more willing to kill off such 'loose end' characters, if only for the sake of keeping the established story elegant, with no 'Luke's the last of the Jedi, but Ahsoka's not an official Jedi…

Look how fucking shit the Jurassic World CGI looks when it's juxtaposed against the much older films. The horrible trend for making everything blue and orange really makes digital effects look so terrible.

There was a pretty good UK dramatisation of it last year with Timothy Spall called 'The Enfield Haunting' - you could be thinking of it.

Yeah, it seems there's a large number of people for whom spite trumps self interest.

I really, really don't get how anyone could find them comical - I thought those particular images were fundamentally creepy.

I agree. I've never left the cinema so aware of what strangers thought of a film - they really, really found the concept of a demonic goat and the visual of a raven pecking at a grieving woman's breast hilarious. I can understand not liking it, but you need to be a tasteless moron to have found it funny.

But videogame reporting is entertainment journalism. It's perfectly fine for entertainment companies to get miffed and refuse a media outlet access (which is at their discretion to grant anyway) if said media outlet is leaking details about that company's product.

That's nowt to do with Ford and everything to do with Spielberg not being that desperate to make the film. That film would have been worse with Pratt playing Jones because he's very different from Ford and it is Ford's role.