Plus the clothes are criminally hideous.

Gobble, gobble, gobble

Speaking of phrasing, French women ditched #metoo to instead use Out Your Pig. So instead of being a victim you are outing your aggressors. I loved that.

- Part of me thinks that, somewhere, Will and Jada are sputtering “It’s. A. Loan!” under their collective breaths.

Ugh, agreed. It’s not like capable women are sitting around all “eh, I could be in charge, I guess, I’m just not that motivated. Gosh, I wish there were a man around to tell me what’s best for me and push me to succeed!”

A Rust Cohle gem would also suffice:

I wasn’t on the I Hate Ansel Elgort train before, but I was on a plane last week that played Fault in Our Stars (I could not escape!) and now I’m the engineer, ticket-taker and brakeperson. Never thought I’d live to see the day when I’d be happy a kid died of cancer, but that’s the magic of Ansel Elgort, I guess.

McConaughey: Lincoln commercials? Someone filmed my perfectly normal car trips?

Seriously. How about the “the way needs to be cleared for more powerful, talented women to thrive.”? Ugh.

I really hope every time Matthew McConaughey handed out a turkey he looked at the fowl recipient dead in the eye and uttered a line from his goofy Lincoln commercials. “Sometimes you gotta go back... to actually move forward, and I don’t mean going back to reminisce, or chase ghosts. I mean going back to see where you…

He went on to say that “more women need to be pushed to power,”

One of the most absurd installments of 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me I’ve read in some time is Jesse James Decker’s

You know how infant clothing has snaps at the crotch so you can unsnap to change diapers?

Not to mention, is the zipper on those clown pants roughly two feet long? Is that normal for Big & Tall trousers?

More importantly, do Trump’s trousers match his jacket? I mean, he always looks like the before picture at Men’s Warehouse with his shiny rumpled suits and too long ties, but it looks like his suit is unmatched too.

Nah.

Yeah, but Abe did it with a bit more panache.

It was tacky and a big faux pas. It was like clearing his sinuses in front of a world audience when he knew he was on camera.