ironically, richard matt was originally sentenced to be hung.

I am 13 going on 46 in this picture. Glamor shots - they were “unique”.

I don’t have a copy of my senior portrait but it wasn’t that bad...no regrets or anything.

Really? She wasn’t a model in another life? I’ve thought this forever. Now I’m mad at the one who told me in serious ernestness all those years ago! You know nothing Amber Snodgrass!

When I saw this, I thought I should share my story but didn’t because it’s so fucked up it’s almost unbelievable.

To his credit, rather than post that in 20,000 tweets like some people would he tweeted a link to a blog post.

“We spoke to Jezebel, a popular Kardashian news site, on Twitter today...”

re: Gaga’s Met Gala dress, this is my favorite thing. Apparently she spent the evening barely awake because she accidentally took 3 AllevePM instead of regular Alleve. After sharing that nugget via FB, Alleve stepped in.

Girl that is Missy Elliott she lost a lot of weight
Girl I heard she eats one cracker a day
Oh well I heard the bitch was married to Tim and started fucking with Trina
I heard the bitch got hit with three zebras and a monkey
I can’t stand the bitch no way

She uses language with such casualty.

I am getting THE BEST flashbacks of Kurt Loder interviewing her about her poetry and questioning her word choices and her getting slightly huffy and being like “Do you even poetry Kurt”

Now that’s applied science.

There’s a reason the show is named after him.

You had me at bread

No, babies come pre-loaded with a series of expressions that I lump under “skeptical baby.” “Bee-yotch, please,” “Are you kidding me?” and the deadpan, “Didn’t I just say no?” are classics (and especially hilarious on babies who will not grow up to use those expressions much — baby boys are hysterical).

Only petulant children don’t eat the crust.

I wish there was one in New York. I would go in and walk through the restaurant pissing on the floor. (Looking older has its privileges, like claiming to be an incontinent old lady).