@Return of DaOtter: Fuck my life, I quit.

He then fled the scene, but not before a photgraph was taken:

@Steve U: I'm guessing not half as amused as Moe and Pareene are at watching us suffer through it all.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Dude, if you like it, read it where it belongs, cause it sure as hell doesn't belong on Deadspin.

@Boobie_Miles: I will follow you to hell and back, good sir.

@BruschisBrewsky: Apparently, Gawker has a minimum "shittiness quotient" that must be met weekly. We have a lot of catching up to do by Saturday.

@Jayhawk Marley: Worse (to me). Redneck southern Illinois. *weeps*

@BruschisBrewsky: Does Denton just not pay that well? How the hell is it so hard to find someone who knows sports to run this zoo over the weekend? Hell, any of those guys featured in "Learning Curves" would probably kill for a chance. This is fucking torture.

I've been reading a new and fascinating book called The Snakehead on how the enterprising people of Fuchow, China outsmarted international immigration and transportation authorities to effectively colonize downtown New York City.

My college didn't have football.

@BruschisBrewsky: TLDR

Tomorrow: The Deadspin Anarchy Team of Moe and Parene comes back

Of course, being a St. Louis fan, I HAVE to root for LaRussa, because if we lose him, Pujols is prolly next.

As each Rangers player delivered his line, Letterman made a joke of his own, or simply laughed along with his audience.

@Pommpie: Seriously. I know I'm supposed to feel bad for the kid, but you know, working legs are sort of a prerequisite to basketball. If it turns out good, then brillo bananas, try out again next year. If not, then I guess he has bigger issues.

It's debatable whether these sports push the body or just human idiocy to the outermost limits, but one thing is for sure: Sports in Hell is laugh-out-loud hilarious and will deliver plenty of unabashed fun.

@JosephFinn: Lake Michigan is not North America.

@ClueHeywood: Most don't come with tassels though. Unless you count excessive body fat.

@Saberhagendaaz: -1 ctrl-v

If I were an English teacher, this man's likeness would go on my wall. It's gloriously horrible.