@ohmygodtheykilledkennyrogers: Hell, on my college team, we changed the sign order EVERY PITCH when we played a team with similar signs. The calculations were a nightmare, even for myself. And catchers are supposed to be the smarter ones on the field.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: I dunno, she's got a pretty decent rating pre '05. Granted, a LOT of people said she was a vapid feminist, but I've had worse than that.

First person to quote Mike "The Mouth" Madisow gets punched in the dick.

@Beer-Fart: Hell, Zapruder would be proud. At least this guy actually had two angles going.

@Ken Phelps All Stars: I need some confirmation of the assailant's identity first. If a lawsuit DOES actually appear on AJD's desk, he's in, no ballot necessary.

@Larrypleau: Not to mention supermike's ire and Marques Slocumb's grasp of punctuation.

@Larrypleau: + my firstborn

Big blue there needs a few vocab lessons.

As much as I like the still-frame blow-by-blow (and hyphens, apparently), the graphic overlays are borderline retarded. What the hell is with all the lines and fake text? How bored is everyone?

We need at least a one-week moratorium on the use of the word "donnybrook".

@Gravy: Terry Goodkind penned the phrase that "People are stupid; and they will believe anything, because they want it to be true, or because they're afraid it's true."

Hell, I'm just surprised that you can spell ESPN, Moe. Being Weekend Daddy must not be paying as well as it used to.

@Matt Sussman: I was trying to come up with a joke about how it looks like he's taking off the end of an aircraft carrier, but the pattern was full.

Greg Louganis to be relieved from the "Most Embarrassing Diving Injury" title in 3... 2... 1...

@Anthony_Underscore: I remember a similar divan being brought in to bowl in 12B.C. against the darkies.

@Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: Deadspin was/is my own personal snark school. It helped me turn sarcasm into an art form, and I learned the essence of the comedy pyramid here.

In a startlingly popular move, the Judge ordered that both these wastes of humanity be neutered, preferably with minimal anesthetic.

may have roots in Cockney rhyming slang

@BruschisBrewsky: Dear Steven, your script does not meet our current publishing needs. Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. By association I have come to hate you too. For safety reasons, I have hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would have used the envelope you provided, but I was…

The William and Mary University Fuck The NCAA's.