Hard to believe Frankenstein was drafted by the Nets, but then he is still more agile than Yao.

Finally, something good comes out of an 11% unemployment rate.

@ArkansasFred: +1 offer you can't refuse

@SynicVance2.0: Every time I look at it, it gets funnier. I just imagine that she did the split, and now she's stuck there and can't get up.

THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

And here I thought that screenshot was from today, and I got all excited about the Cards coming back from behind.

@Cecil's Wielder: But- He's SCRAPPY!

@rowsdower: Brazil won due to their superior waxing technology. Clearly, the key to success is no facial hair.

@And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_T...-Its: It seems clear that the US team had nothing left after the first half. I've never seen a group go flat so fast since I threw a porcupine in a blow-up doll bargin bin.

@And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_T...-Its: Well, we are still the world equivalent of the Hellen Keller Institute on the soccer stage.

@Ryan Harris: *Taps Ryan Harris with detector*

@bonerland: It would appear the US team needs a new conditioning coach before the WC starts.

@HoustonNuttsPhoneBill: Help us Landon Donovan! You're our only hope!

@Return of DaOtter: also, my response may have been muffled, but that's because I'm talking out of my ass.

@HoustonNuttsPhoneBill: Closer to a 3-run lead in baseball. Very easy to defend against someone trying to build a comeback, but also easy enough to tie by getting lucky.

@DollaBrand: I'm blaming your pessimism. You didn't think positive enough.

Dammit. Damndamndamndamndamndamn.

@bonerland: Dude, you're on the internet. You're just not trying.

As someone who's only played rec league and indoor soccer, is it actually frowned upon for the keeper to catch the ball in the pro ranks? That save looked like an easy grab to me.

@DollaBrand: And Jeffery Meyer robbed an out. Stuff happens, I'll take the advantage and like it.