oh GAVIN GAVIN GAVIN. Why must you also be a cliche? I’ve loved you since Glycerine in the rain, man. And you’re a nanny banger like that bro Affleck? DISAPPOINTING.

Speaking of making things about me... It has taken me until just now to think maybe his Twitter handle is “A plus K”, not “aplusk”, as in a made up word that rhymes with musk. Feeling very silly.

Reading that just made me inhale probably a pretty dangerous amount of solid food. That’s exactly what Charlie Sheen said to Mario Lopez. Like you’re exactly right.

I believe people who say “thank god I wasn’t there” way more than I believe the rest. I’m pretty sure I’d be of zero help in 99% of emergencies.

I’m willing to bet that the story that Charlie Sheen told Mario Lopez was neither “hilarious” nor “classic.”

I’m pretty sure their son had difficulties at birth and needs special glasses because of it, or something like that. Basically anyone can get glasses at any time. Most people just don’t know they need glasses when they’re really little because they don’t know any different. My brother didn’t realize until he was like…

Dear Ashton:

They’re better at detecting vision problems earlier

Shia LaBeouf is that friend who posts emo statuses on FB but when you ask whats wrong they say “I dont want to talk about it on Facebook”

It’s like watching a VH1 Behind the Music in real time.

“Afraid of strong women.”

Yah, “shitfaced before a show” is probably one thing, but also like Brent said they’ve had two band members DIE from substance abuse. Maybe Gwar just isn’t so keen on it anymore.

Probably the distinction of “Shitfaced after the show” and “Shitfaced before the show” come in. But yeah, its kinda scary like, holy shit, you must have been mega trashed.

Must be chill dudes and down with beer drinking hellraisers

First pennies, then small woodland animals. When will the madness stop?

Team invisible eyelashes UNITE!

Without mascara, she reminds me of Joni Mitchell a little bit.

The makeup artist just didn't contour Uma's face in a way we're used to seeing, and used minimal eye makeup. But of course, being a woman, Uma's face is always up for judgement. There's nothing wrong in saying, "Uma, your makeup is terrible," (as it is simply an opinion) but saying that her face is jacked is messed…

I feel you, Uma. No one recognizes me when I don't wear eye makeup, either. The curse of being a blonde with basically invisible brows and lashes.