That’s what she said.

It’s good to see that the England players have unified a nation that was tearing itself apart 5 hours ago by offering themselves up as a sacrifice. Superb.

Can we list the countries that are better at soccer than England?

He found a new assistant who knew better than to offer some lousy cold-cuts.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

I literally laughed out loud.

Then a hoard of people came to see what I was laughing about, so we watched it again.

They all laughed, except for one gal- the Brit.

But then I found out she wasn’t British, she was actually dutch, and she didn’t laugh because she didn’t realize it was supposed to be a joke. She just…

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

Thank God, I was worried sick. Smell ya later, Foxtrot. :/

OUTCOME THREE: Write a letter to a well- semi- sometimes-respected blogger. Outline your concerns. Elicit sympathy. Get him to paint your tragic picture with his word-brush. Let him share it with his focused audience. Step one is complete.

I wonder if they will paint a little jeep on the fuselage...

Something like this I guess.

Is wer bad, comrade.

For fucks sake, when will you people learn that not being discriminatory and racist is not the same thing as “not wanting to offend them”

This arms race will not end well for anyone.

I justed starred both of these comments.

Don’t worry. We’ve already dispatched one of our best men to handle it.

Free double drinks to all immediately after boarding. No one will complain about anything and greatly enjoy the flight. The end.

1. Go to school

“Excuse me, my gun is up here."