Leave him now...that's the type of personality that winds up in front of a federal judge on charges of embezzlement.

When I want to abuse my authority, I do photocopies for my son's Cub Scouts den activities at work. Why can't people do something like that instead of this nonsense?

My mom's a lunch lady for a school in Utah, and the district absolutely pressures her to pull this kind of shit. They call the parents, send notes home, and give the students a few days warning. Still, if their parents are flat broke and/or don't speak English, this kind of stuff happens. My mom doesn't give a fuck,…

I know I am really supposed to ignore the MRA trolls, but I am feeling sassy and I can't resist.

Feel free to doubt it, Tim.

Your advice is always great, but I believe the correct course of action for the first problem is to get the friends back together with "Parent Trap"-like hijinks and three-way sex. I mean, how is this even a question?

Londoners are beginning to fondly remember the days when they only had to endure blitzes from Germany.

My husband does this too! Every 15 minutes he'll pause the movie or show we're watching: "Who is that? Why did they do that thing?" WE ARE WATCHING THE SAME MOVIE AT THE SAME TIME. I HAVE NO SECRET KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT IS GOING ON.

Since it is so difficult to pee through an erection, and since the erection shrinks the diameter of the urethra, urine tends to come out in a thin, fast-moving stream. This has three effects contributing to inaccuracy:

1. The stream's small diameter makes it easily scattered by the foreskin.
2. The high velocity allows…

They really don't go in for big guys, the bigger you are, harder your body is to move, also, bigger people tend to be worse swimmers.

It requires a little bit of intelligence. That might be the reason it's not popular in USA.

With the rising cost of developing a game I doubt every game (or even most games) are going to take advantage of cloud computing or use it on a scale that they talked about above. So since not every game will use it why not make 24hr check in's mandatory to only that game or just make the game online only? Why do it…

Nah, it's not working.

The 360 is a fantastic console, but as a gamer I just can't accept Microsoft's stance out of principle.

Which is to be expected since Google is actually encouraging devs to hack the device.

Me after my 14 stitches of dog bite doom. I think I still have the way grosser before picture floating around somewhere, but I'll save you the exposed bone.

Yes.

Ah yes, because nobody browses or posts on Kotaku from the following:

Only two people were killed? That's not good, obviously, but elsewhere I had heard twelve. So two is better.

Every time I think to myself, "Hey, the world ain't so bad, Schwartz!" shit like this just pisses me off.