Shut the front door!!! 85?? Jesus, I would have said that he was in his late 60s, at the very most. Man is aging WELL!

K. Stew looks like she arrived directly after completing her long program.

I'd find out what Nega Mitt Romney is up to these days, before looking too far afield.

Good thing you said "living," because I for one am breathlessly awaiting to hear from the ghost of Crispus Attucks whether this was what he thought he was dying for.

Oh, Lark Voorhees! She was so beautiful. Why did she have to turn down Little Kim Lane? Now she looks like a completely different person who, incidentally, has had far too much plastic surgery.

I love you for this. Thank you so much for reminding me how much I need to go back and rewatch earlier seasons of The Vampire Diaries!

God, Debra Messing really is the worst. actress. ever. How hard is it to convincingly fake hilarity? Between that and wardrobe constantly forcing her to wear The Sweaters That Ate Manhattan, I'm convinced that she's the most joyless person in existence.

See? Mitt Romney IS a role model!

Hulkse?

This is the right response to everything.

In college, one girl routinely confused me with a friend of mine who was also black. That was our only similarity. Unlike me, she had long hair, and mine was short. She was tall, I was of average height. She was FROM JAMAICA (the country, not Queens), and I have an Everywhere, USA accent. What the hell? Indefensible.

Even better. It wasn't an attack by an unfamiliar dog, it was an attack by a dog that she knew well.

She read, sitting at her work computer and listening to an audiobook.

Aaah. This was not even on my list of pet-related fears, but I've rejiggered my queue and now it's #1.

There's some stupid in the Simpson family. Period. That whole family is pretty damn dumb, although their brand of idiocy is particularly lucrative.

Gross/smart/gross.

The first double cheeseburger I ever ate was in Paris, at the height of the French Mad Cow Disease panic. I didn't order it with Mad Cow Disease in mind (I was in my early 20s and just didn't think about things like prions eating my brain), but I can honestly say that I've never enjoyed a burger more in my life.

No way! I actually enjoyed these books and never read the Sookie Stackhouse novels. I did find that the decline between the third and fourth books of the series was pretty steep, but then the fourth book was the last one in the series, so at least I still enjoyed the series when it was over (take notes, Laurell K.…

I'm with your bf all the way on the meat-eating, olive-hating tip. Olives! Ugh. Barely tolerable in oil form, completely wrong any other way.

I love your story and your image equally, and you have basically made my night after I gave myself a case of the sads. Hearted.