I’ve had a few, and they’re not bad once I get past the historical irony of a tee-totaling beer alternative used as a flavor for actual beer. But let’s face the plain fact: these are just wine coolers for guys.

Will it baby?

Horsche!

My thoughts exactly; there’s no way the finer particles end up with enough air mixed in between them to exceed the original volume. They should naturally pack more closely.

Truck this now.

In this context, I’m pretty sure “peak hold” means displaying the maximum reading until the gauge is reset. That way you can Instagram it more safely.

I was actually shaking with barely-contained laughter by the end of this list. If only I wasn’t on a call at the time!

Like the man said: blessed are the drivers, for they shall ensmogify the earth.

Perhaps he misidentified the cilantro?

For some reason, seeing the Dr in Dr Pepper spelled out like this looks really, really strange.

Pucker up!

I came in to suggest this very thing. DOOOOO EEEEET!

At first, I thought this said ROLLIGIONS! and expected an article about some bizarre extinct moto-cult that as an article of faith used laying under moving vehicles in the same way other faiths use handling snakes. The actual article was OK, too, I suppose.

From the great Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker:

Looks like a great big Tylenol.

Crumble zones are used to get better scores in crush tests.

A pilot project to bring back BigStuf Oreos should be launched, a la Jurassic Park.

My commute is of similar length; perhaps you too might enjoy a biologically powered two-wheeled conveyance?

Resembles nothing so much as a steampunk arc reactor, possibly belonging to Brass Man.

You’ll put your eye out, kid!