My daughter’s five and has always wanted to play my games but her hands are too small for the controllers and she simply hasn’t been able to pick up anything properly. Even Mario Kart on the Wii U was a frustrating exercise of constantly going the wrong way.

That’s his rapper name. Lil’ naive.

I’m guessing not too many of the dopes who paid for this festival are going to really have problems with the rent next month. Mom’s check will clear just fine.

Happy days! I detest these intsagram celebs and look forward to their downfall.

I can’t believe this guy thinks he’s going to have a next year. There isn’t going to be a next year.

“I kind of pooh-poohed the experience thing, but this shit is hard!”

“We were a little naive”

Dropping $500 on a wristband after 14 days of unresponsiveness and e-mails bouncing back.

In my 50s, household income considerably more than 100k with house and autos paid off and I literally took a deep breath in when she said she put $500 on her card.

If one of my kids had typed that, I would have seriously thought about where I went wrong and whether or not cutting them out of the will would scare some sense into them.

As someone with family in South Korea, what the everloving fuck, is this?!

IKR! What’s next? Johnny Depp actually appearing in the ride as Jack Sparrow?

*bookmark to find out what he’s up to in 15 years*

Track: Get the Balance Right | Artist: Depeche Mode | Album: Construction Time Again

Because he’s too busy thinking about how awesome he is. See how smug he looks? Until his wife nudges him. Asshole.

I about lost my damn mind over some of the coverage I saw of that. “Melania Trump had to remind her husband of this during the pledge”...for fuck’s sake, don’t sugar coat it. The fucking president can’t manage what millions of first graders do every morning.

he can’t even do the pledge...

Did shrooms once in high school with a friend and it was an unmitigated disaster. Friend’s parents came home unexpectedly that night with pizza and wanted us to eat with them. Tried to hold it together, friend started smearing a slice of pizza all over his entire face. Needless to say the cat was out of the bag, it…

I’ve never had a bad trip, but I have a baby now. I should probably stop tripping when I have to be around the baby, right? That seems like at the very least, one of us is going to have a very bad time.