But they didn't do it on twitter, so it doesn't count. #CheezIt355

Didn't they get the memo from Tony Stewart? It's supposed to be business as usual.

Poor Albert. Clearly this story is making him relive a similar experience as a child.

LeBron James + an injury-prone, slashing guard + a stretch big man who doesn't play defense...I feel like I've read this story somewhere before...

When asked about the dunk, Lin's mother responded..."Why he no doctor, yet?"

Hilarious. "He says he's not racist, gives great examples of his criticisms, but I disagree and still think he's racist." Shut the fuck up. Your audience is a few nerds online who try to make jokes about every article, his audience is millions of people worldwide. He has greater insight than everyone on Deadspin…

Deadspin already has one guy who acts like he's the only human to ever reproduce. We don't need another.

Prince Fielder would like to state unequivocally that he is not a fan of the idea of an entire half of the plate being unused.

Can you blame LaRussa if the fine line between pitching inside and pitching dirty is a bit blurry ?

+1000, much honor to your family

"Phew, I almost really boned that one."

I really don't get why bare-handed catches elicits such fascination when it comes to baseball. I mean, I wouldn't put my bare hand on a line-drive, but this? A bounced ball the size of a orange? I could catch them one-handed before I hit puberty. Cricket is an awfully boring game even when compared to baseball, but…

Last year David Aardsma (pitching for the Mets at the time) tweeted that his bed was stolen from his new apartment in New York (weird, right?). It happened after he blew a save, so I said if he blows one again I'm coming back for the dresser. He blew it that night, and blocked me.

Hunter Pence never rewinds his rental video-tapes.

Denying that Arabs are second class citizens in Israel is intellectually dishonest. I would say that a system of laws that exists to promote one ethno religious group over another would constitute a comparison to apartheid, guy.

What's Bugs Bunny doing in Florida? Didn't he saw that wasteland off like a thousand times already.

HUNTER PENCE'S SISTER MAKES $86 PER HOUR AT HOME AND WON'T SHARE SECRETS IN COMMENTS SECTION OF POPULAR WEBSITE

Hunter Pence thinks Milk and Honey Original Cafe Mix is the best cereal ever.

Where in my post did I sound outraged?