No u r not rite

"There is nothing Mario Balotelli can't do on the pitch." Except:

God, the American sports scene is just the worst. Everything is so artificial. Your sports constantly need to manufacture heroes and villains to keep the viewer interested. Every irrational hater - and make no mistake, irrational hate is the right of a sports fan - is met with accusations of racism. Your journalists,…

Milton seemed to land on his feet.

As both a Dutchman and Ajax supporter, I would TOTALLY wear the tulip and Amsterdam house clad jerseys! Those are dope!!

It's already been done. Liverpool's players just wasn't offered the sweet relief at the end.

Hurricane Hitler

The graphics are broken.

Nah, here's the longest:

Per usual, Diaw relished the opportunity to finish his teammates' dishes.

Please describe how to make toast in 3,000 word or more.

Meanwhile, wannabe Deadspin employees are merely asked "How far can you punt a football?"

Simmons would look out of place in an entire room filled with Simmonses. (Simmonses? Simmonsi?) The guy's a noodge.

Simmons could not look more out of place

Im good right here...

"So, um...after Damon intercepts Manny's pitch, they'll...I dunno...Kevin Millar will make a Schilling joke, and then they'll just pass the mic to whoever wants it."

An attempt to justify why this is worthy of posting on deadspin, I guess.

Putin:"Crimea river, Finland!"