Oh, yeah, definitely skip it, then. If you are really desperate for greens and the grocery stores near you have sucky produce, you can sprout your own at home, but, again, do not buy sprouts at the store, and do not hold them past the date given in the instructions for your sprouter!

This is also going to be her peak as a “princess.” WARNING: UNPOPULAR GROUCHY COMMENTS TO FOLLOW. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR IT. Remember when everyone was obsessed with Kate Middleton and her long flowy hair, when she too quit her job to marry a prince, and her outfits were crashing websites? Now she’s just…

Now that Meghan has the full backing of the Royal press machine, I can’t wait for them to squash her stupid half sister like a bug.

A divorced American actress who is multiracial, and whose great-great-great-grandma was a slave, will be the (I am betting) Duchess of Sussex. I love it!

Well, she’s 36. Hollywood sucks for women in their 40s and 50s. She wouldn’t have made it into A list celebrity roles. She would have been fine, but this was probably her peak.

I’ve always had a soft spot for Harry. Even through the Nazi costume days (incredibly poor judgment), I saw a lot of the troubles he later discussed - depression after the death of his mother, having to internalize it because, you know, he was a royal, having to come to terms with it after a period of setting his life…

I can’t wait for all the black people that will be attendance. Serena Williams! The Obamas! And more!

Plug in your phone! You’re making me very nervous!

It will also likely be declared a national holiday in the U.K., and they already have a bank holiday scheduled for May 29. Either they’ll combine them for a four-day weekend or have two three-day weekends that month. The Palace apparently said the wedding will be “in the spring”, which gives ‘em until June 22.

It does feel weird to know that BOTH of the royal boys my pals and I crushed on in the early oughts are no longer up for grabs, and that there are no other age-appropriate ones to fill the gap. At least we had these two and didn’t have to put up with Charles, like my mum...

Late May is the most beautiful time in the UK. The flowers, the fresh green foliage .... if I could stall the world to stay at late May in the UK forever, I would.

Strangely I feel a little emotional about this. My son was born a few months before Diana died and I remember being up with him and watching the news coverage all night. I guess I still see Harry as that little boy following his mother’s coffin. William looked very dignified and in control of himself, but poor Harry…

Cannae wait for mad wee George to take the throne.

Congrats to my second favorite royal, next to preternaturally grumpy Prince George.

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been for two people I’ve never met.”

I hope that the royal wedding completely overshadows all of the Kardashians and their pregnancies, forever and ever amen.

“Sew up yer baby flaps, sweetie, Hazza and the actress are getting married and I won’t miss this blowout for the world!”—-hacked text message from Prince William to Kate.

In that last photo, Ginger Prince looks so stupid in love that my bitter, shriveled heart grew two sizes. Sigh, I love a royal wedding!

HAHAHAHAHA!