Your post is largely false.

Taylor Lewan texted the sexual assault victim of former UM teammate Brandon Gibbons and told her he would rape her if she went to police.

Maloney is not the first radical republican to try and get rid of Andrew Johnson.

Now I want to guess who these GMs are. At first, I thought Riley or Ainge, in a Machiavalian attempt to keep L.A. from being competitive. But then, everyone knows they pull the same and would call them out.

Most worthwhile learning experience since David Brooks taught a class on humility and included himself on the syllabus.

I really never thought I’d miss that big galoot’s “WE’RE BACK, WE’RE BACK!” but goddammit I do. Get better from whatever mysterious ailment has felled you, you not-at-all-gentle giant.

I would like to see how YOU look after downing 37 Ćevapćići before tip off. 

I’m going with “injected it directly into his veins,” but your point stands.

I humbly request we call them Dreulogies.

HamNo just got a boner from the idea of internet commenters unionizing.

are the readers going to have to fucking unionize too and mount a reader stoppage to get a fucking update?!

I’m going to take this a step further and declare the Lions the Ass Team of All-Time. Since 1958, only 60 years for those keeping score at home, the Lions have won a TOTAL OF 1 FUCKING PLAYOFF GAME.

Even if it was a musical act I enjoyed, I still wouldn’t want to see that. Just give give me 3 minutes of Sunday’s top plays or something. Give me 3 minutes of “a memorable MNF game occurred this week 12 years ago.” Anything else please. 

Strike that.  Reverse it.  He has 193 more FTs than FGs.

It, uh, would, um, it would help if, uh, Witten, um...didn’t...didn’t stumble over every, every, uh, word during...um, during his...during his “analysis.”

It’s not a seeded bracket.

Longtime Billy scholars

As a United fan, I can only offer this: while, yes, it sucks pretty hard right now, Billy has just offered us a glimmer of hope. Longtime Billy scholars will recognize that once he describes a team as terrible and finished, they are assured of a shocking comeback. Thanks, Billy!

I don’t get the Ashley Young criticism at all. He’s consistent, always works hard and runs his ass off, and provides leadership in a team that is lacking in leaders. Like you said, he did exactly what you would expect of him today, and on many previous occasions for both club and country over the past year.