I am surprised I did not see this farther up in the comments.

This would have never happened if Officer Big Mac were still around.

Works for no money? Sounds like the description of internships

Poke Ball Guy - clicks ‘I am a passenger’ when he really isn’t

*adds sound insulation under the hood, adds engine cover that says electric, renames gas cans to “electrolyte solution”

“Most people don’t consider fast-food or takeout to be restaurants.”

“The upside is they dropped my insurance rates, because the tracker showed I am a safe driver”

First they get you with vaping, then they move on to the stronger stuff like popcorn and asbestos

“What restaurant doesn’t have tipping?”

Usually fast food places and some places that specialize in carry out business.

Trying to emulate KFC’s success in Japan with the Colonel as the mascot, but left with no mascot, well-meaning Popeyes franchisee in China announces plans to build statues of Little Nicky at all locations.

Are you suggesting to go to a restaurant that has tipping, and then just not tip? It comes off as trying to rationalize not wanting to tip in the first place, instead of genuinely wanting to improve the situation. Patronizing restaurants that don’t have tipping, or not eating out altogether would be better options.

I could see it in MegaRace

United could offer her a free first class flight, and offer to upgrade future flights for free (unless she was already flying first class).

*runs around with handful of Q-tips
“YOU’LL NEVER STOP ME!”

*looks at RECALL BINGO card

Luckily, *checks 12th century medical reference, that means the two cancel each other out.
If they just check to make sure their 4 humors are balanced, they should be fine.

*Pizzabot malfunctions, grabs T-Shirt cannon and starts to launch balls of uncooked pizza dough, and half-made pizzas everywhere.

“As long as they did not hit the taco. It would be serious business in that case”