All you have to do is ask. The better vendors have price lists upon request and once you get a couple you can make an educated guess about comparable vendors. Or ask friends who got married in your city what range you can expect. We had our wedding budgeted within a week of being engaged, mostly from online and phone…

Oh I was super pissed! He heard what I was saying as a commentary on a single year - my birthday the year we got engaged, which was 20 days after our engagement. I didn’t really expect a present that year, and we went out to dinner for that birthday. I was mainly referring to the years after but he later explained…

I have had that book for years, sitting in a drawer. Think it’s time to dig it out!

Oh man, has he had therapy or talked out his money issues with you? My husband has terrible anxiety about money cause his mom stole from him and it made him treat me really weirdly about money. Could be why he is weird about buying you presents.

Dude I had this same conversation with my husband - he hadn’t gotten me a single gift since my engagement ring. One year he didn’t even get me a birthday card. Meanwhile, I bought him a bunch of thoughtful gifts and got up early and made him breakfast every birthday, etc. I told him I wanted a gift for my birthday and…

My grandma is a real bitch. Imagine Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest and throw religion into the mix. That’s my grandma. She never let my mom and aunt have friends over, and any friends they did have, she started really terrible rumors about them. She never came to visit us, didn’t come to my wedding, my cousin’s…

Yup, this type of minimizing language is why I have stopped reading other publications - I am thinking particularly of People Magazine, which said Roman Polanski “had sex” with his child victim.

Inflammatory rhetoric?! Hahaahhahaha. Gotta go, bye.

It sounds that way but she actually isn’t. Her mom was Joan Crawford Mommy Dearest bad and she never got any help for the abuse she suffered herself. So she just didn’t know how to parent because her model was so atrocious. The worst of it were the men and women of that church, the adults who blamed me and shamed me.…

A boy I met in my high school church youth group date raped me. The word got out that we “had sex” and I was ostracized by the entire church. The pastor called me out one day in front of the entire congregation, saying he knew I needed to talk to God and ask for forgiveness. He thankfully didn’t mention what for, but…

I think I am confused - there is a parody page but I am talking about the actual Facebook group that is not a parody even though it reads like one. Or are we talking about the same page? Help me.

HAH. One of my greatest amusements this summer has been the Friends of the Bloomingdale Trail Facebook group - the lady who posted a photo of her kid’s bloody knee and cautioned parents that the rocks at the Leavitt entrance were dangerous and not to let their kids play on them is my favorite idiot. Rocks anywhere…

#notallmustaches

I was driving behind one the other day and I wondered whether I should just go ahead and call Dateline.

Inmates’ access to health care in the US is horrendous - the states often subcontract it to a private company and the care provided is inadequate. I have worked on lawsuits where inmates have been given a girdle instead of necessary hernia repair surgeries. One correctional facility I know of had a broken drill in…

I have worked on two cases involving pedophiles. Both of them had mustaches. One of them had a white van which he used for the crime (it involved kidnapping). It made me wonder if this is the only appropriate use of stereotyping. Sorry to all you Caucasian mustachioed men with white vans out there.

I was 7 and never went back to sleep away camp because my first experience was so gnarly. The camp only had a 4 day program for 7 year-olds, thankfully, because one of my cabin mates was scared of using the camp bathroom and just pissed and shat herself all weekend. The smell was horrifying, especially after the…

You would annoy the crap out of the receptionists, and receptionists get enough shit as it is!

I answered the phones at a law firm a few summers and you’d be surprised how many people will pick up the phone and call a local lawyer’s office to ask them for JG Wentworth’s phone number. They would acknowledge that they saw his commercial and just wanted to know if we could pass along the number. Like.... I had so…

I was in Midway for ten hours with endlessly cancelled flights this past winter. This 20-something girl sat in the only open seat in the waiting area, which was behind me. The stench was pretty bad but I wasn’t about to give up my seat. We finally boarded the flight. It was a full Southwest flight. I snagged a window…