The most shocking part of this story is Incognito having a rudimentary understanding of fractions.

i'm just surprised he could text with those fingers.

I've been a fan of Stafford's since he played Corky on Life Goes On. Glad to see he's playing quarterback now. That guy has, what we call in the industry, 'range.'

I can do without Arcade Fire. But not Hockey Night.

I Can't Remember the Titans

The same post on the Yankees' Facebook page has plenty of responses exactly like this. But hey, can't go wrong with the "ha ha the South is full of stupid rednecks" narrative.

Yes! 3 points! So 16 plus 3... now we have.... 16... 17... 18... 18 Points!

Rivers: "Nnnnhh, peppermint roll!"

[Touches envelope to forehead]

"(Ed McMahon was also there!)"

This could have been so much worse. I mean, the bar employee could have been forced to sit through several more hours of the "battle of the bands."

These guys can't be native Marylanders, their foreheads are too small.

Southern Comfort uses the phrases " you know you want it" and "that's what she said" at least three times in every conversation.

Jagermeister has a neck tattoo and is a part time roady for the Reverend Horton Heat, you hook up with him whenever hes in town.

Absinth: the dangerously attractive yet completely fucked up married guy who sits in a dark corner of the bar, glaring at you.

Hmmm, I think pinot noir thinks Garden State was a really good movie.

Dramatic Howard is that guy who fucked up his ACL in intramural football because he attemtped some misguided cut against Pike. But, you know, he "totally gets" what Adrian Peterson had to go through and his rehab was-

nah... those dipshit squids where breaking every law of the road they could... and then one gets run over and they assault the cager? nah... shit don't work like that... you ride dumb, you die fast.

Berry plays for the team that has a horse run across the field after each touchdown.

Frat Bro: [gives fuckin' speech]