The Brownstein/Poehler conversation did happen in a church, so that makes sense. A friend was there and said that they also talked extensively about General Hospital. They are my soul mates.

If you’re going to clap, at least clap on-beat.

I am waiting for Bieber to go on clapping apology tour, by discovering Jesus

I have never been jealous of Reese Witherspoon...until now. She got to bang (or at least kiss) Billy Chenowith!

“Jeremy Sisto’s first “actress girlfriend” was Reese Witherspoon, and he was “so into her.”

I’m still holding out for this to happen again.

i love this

It’s pretty clear legalization is coming and soon, jumping on the first bill out the gate is a horrible mistake when it’s this crooked and another will be coming shortly.

Handing the sale and production of medicine over to a select few who only care about personal profit is a bad idea and how we ended up with a $750…

this bill looked like crap, but there’s nothing more hysterical than imagining Nick Lachey as the head of an Ohio cartel.

“The douche is strong in this one” -Darth Shkreli

Fuck you Lachey and anyone else who looks at thousands incarcerated over a harmless medicine and thinks “how can I monopolize this situations for profit.” You scum!

such an opportunity to use that gif has not existed in years.

I didn’t realize what a rip-off this bill was...now I’m kinda glad it failed.

It was a bad bill that was encouraging a cartel situation. We need legal marijuana, but not in this way. That's why people voted it down. Apparently, a better bill is in the works for 2016.

Take it away Dorothy...

Yup! Sometimes my boyfriend is too tired to have sex-sex so he just goes down on me and then we go to sleep. I’M KEEPING HIM FOREVER!

Like those onion cutting goggles. Honestly if you eat pussy right I don’t give a fuck what you have on your face. Wear a fucking Groucho Marx mask for all I care.

The day I decided I would not have sex with any man who didn’t first make me cum with his mouth was the day I left sexual purgatory and was admitted to Elysian Fields.

I also did not sleep with OJ Simpson. Looks like Kris and I finally have something in kommon.

is constantly complimenting her.