I mean, why can’t you be drunk on HSN? I know I’ve never watched it sober, so I would probably enjoy the feeling of solidarity if the presenters were also drunk.

Or Mr. Robot! That show was (sort-of) surprisingly awesome.

I’m starting to think that the Onion isn’t a satirical newspaper, but a time-traveler’s thoroughly misunderstood attempts to warn us of the impending apocalypse.

Abby Adams would be a great candidate too. While it’s true that she had very little to do with monetary policy, Adams was an advocate for married women’s property rights, also calling property “hers” as opposed to “ours” as was common during her time. She was also a pretty damn good investor.

I have had a pretty shitty evening, I hate Tom Brady, and these were just the gifts (autocorrect but it stays) I needed. Bless you, and bless every Patriot who’s ever given TB’s hand a side eye and kept walking.

Not even a liveblog?

I don’t think he’s even that pretty. I like my men a little more Doc Marten, a little less Uggs.

“Trump rally tonight! Who’s in??”

Tom Brady and Donald Trump; two assholes infamous for their pathetic, saggy balls.

That’s the thing. I said this on Gawker, but if anyone associated with the school had thought, for even one second, that it was a bomb, the reaction would have be massively different. The school would have been evacuated. The bomb squad would have been called. The teacher wouldn’t have put the “bomb” in her fucking…

It appears that the problem is spreading across the world.

Only when your flight gets delayed.

If you look at your Facebook feed on any 9/11 you’ll see so many people making it about themselves as much as they can. From “I’ll never forget where I was...” to “A good friend of mine was...” or “I was going to fly from Boston to LA that day but...”

Like with many other Republicans who eventually come to a reasonable stance on a certain issue, it’s only after they, or possibly someone in their family, are directly affected by that issue that they finally do so. They still can’t empathize with anyone they don’t personally care about.

I find the whole mentality confusing because even though she was repressing everything, she was in a gay marriage herself, as a woman married to another.

I can’t comprehend anyone that has had gender re-assignment surgery saying they believe in “tradition”. She’s been granted a new lease on life thanks to cutting science and technology. After living a life of torture and solitude, how can she possibly be unable to understand that another sector of the population might…

I live for the moments when celebrities have strange meltdowns on social media.

If SMG and Freddie break up... all hope is lost. Gavin and Gwen hurt my heart... but Sarah and Freddie for-e-ver.

Right like when people ask me where I’m from I just say the state I live in. It upsets them very much.

I read this as: “Union’s husband of one year, Dwayne Wayne...” and I was all, Holy shit, they’re both drinking the blood of virgins under the full moon, because he looks incredible for his age!