Excellent follow through! Thanks!!!

The captain who conveniently changed his story over the years and is very fond of attention. Davern is shady.

Exactly. Broke people manage to get good tattoos every day. There’s no excuse for this.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green “rarely shared a bed.”

I got called intimidating once. For reference, I am 5’5’’ and 100 lbs. I am this tiny quiet thing and I have considered myself the least intimidating person ever to have lived. They said it was because “they could never tell what I was thinking.”

Yes! Nearly all my friends told me how much of a bitch they thought I was when they first met me. I’m very reserved and it takes a while for me to be myself around people, which comes off as snobby and bitchy. But to be anything else is not being true to me. Luckily I’m English, where reserve is more tolerated. God…

That’s the part I think a lot of people don’t get. It’s actually physically draining to be outgoing, and I don’t enjoy any part of it. I really only go into extrovert mode for job interviews.

wait...when did i change my screename to Akat101?

Are you me? All of my close friends have mentioned to me they thought I was snobby or stand-offish at first. I’m just quiet! I’ve wondered the same thing. I still haven’t figured out how to turn it on. I’ve gotten better at being chatty (like with the check out person at the grocery store, etc.), but it still feels…

This is probably why more than one person has told me they thought I was a snob or disliked them when we first met, even though I liked them and thought our initial interactions were just fine. Fortunately they gave me a chance and we ended up as good friends, but I always wonder how many potential friends I’ve missed…

FUCK YOU NEO-LIBERAL SWEATER-VEST LOVERS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SWEATER SLEEVES.

She can pay the tax bill with museum tours! “This is where Rosie threatened to toss all the kids in the water, this is where Joe Gorga stained the walls with his spray tan.”

I often think that my husband could have done better than me. But I guess I’m kind of selfish because I don’t care. Probably he's thinking the same thing.

I think Chunky soup only exists as a response to this male phenomenon.

Soup is not a meal Jerry!

I got out over 30 years ago. The shit that went down.

That was me when I left the JWs. What a bunch of tools. So glad my entire family left at the same time.

it’s yummy cinnamon liqueur! But it’s not whiskey!

So fucking stupid. Don’t waste your time finding a nanny your husband won’t want to fuck. If he is so inclined there are a dozen other ways for him to cheat. Find a nanny you want to fuck.

Shady drifters with mysterious pasts invariably give good advice, though. That’s like the guiding premise of 60% of fairy tales.