Considering that there are conflicting studies, I’m willing to let the science shake out before believing the “dream-sex with witches” doctor.

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

“You little bastard, I KNEW your momma should have worked on her blowjob skills, you never would’ve been born.”

The shift on Jimbo Fisher’s face when his idiot nephew runs up and confesses is straight up hilarious.

There is nothing tragic about this. There is, however, some sort of poetic justice. Clearly, God wanted him dead - isn’t that how it works?

“The guys over on Stormfront thought this was a great idea!”

This was him testing the waters.

Well now, maybe it actually was a last minute decision. And he just happened to have a high quality, highly detailed nazi uniform just laying around. Like I’m sure a lot of white supremacists have just laying around.

It was deliberate decision so that he could try and use his kid as a shield to prevent people excoriating him for his own Nazi cosplay. It was child abuse, and he committed it.

Translation: “People usually don’t react when I act like a Nazi on the internet. I forgot how reality works.”

“He claimed the costume idea was a last-minute decision”

I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

I’ve noticed that ever since he got divorced, he’s been making an ass of himself

I don’t know how she did the X on the hand thing. But for the switched cards in mouth thing, she changed his signed card for a presigned card by her (sleight of hand). Then she just swapped out the newly signed card by her for his (sleight of hand) before folding it and putting it in her mouth.

this is gross. everything you wrote here is just mindlessly paternalistic garbage. 

“TLDR: Female, know your place and keep quiet.”

Didn’t take long to find the worst take ever.

@Zilla_Killa: Ben mentions that in the article.