The district attorney went on to dispute any part of the incident was waterboarding, though he said the alleged assailants used the phrase before the attack began.

But if you manage to get ahead of the opposition by the end of the third quarter, it’s absolutely essential that you stay ahead of them at the end of the fourth quarter. Too many teams fail to do that, and they’re sorry for it later.

“Thanks a lot, Captain Obelisk.”

They call that move the Stop Resisting because before you know what the fuck is going on a cop starts taking shots and you’re dead.

The night I got back from a couple weeks out of town, my girlfriend’s roommates were gone and she excitedly straddled me while I was sitting on her couch. I felt a little pinch, but whatever, we keep grinding. She seemed wetter than usual, but it HAD been a while. The pinching didn’t stop, though, so finally I…

Who knows... she could have been a drifter.

I have a bunch of .4s. Can I add them together? Always wondered.

I don’t know what I did but later a lawyer gave me a check for $130,000.

I’ve been lucky enough not to have any embarrassing ones. Never been caught by any parents/siblings

I’d have to say it’s a tie between the top 784 times I’ve had sex, where each time I lasted two pumps and then ashamedly said, “Wow, I never came that fast before, you really had me turned on a LOT.”

(the ultimate ultimate goal is 100% voluntary surveillance.)

Before we start associating athletes and coaches with intelligence. I should point out that Jacques Demers won a Stanley Cup in 1993 as coach of the Canadiens and was generally considered one of the better coaches in hockey. About 10 years ago, he admitted he was illiterate.

You guys, I’m starting to think that maybe Tom isn’t very smart.

This study was done over time. I’m talking decades. What you’re referencing is only really public  and prevalent in the news today

Fun fact: Despite being known as “The Wolverine State” Only one wild wolverine has been confirmed as living in Michigan the entire time it has been a state. It was first spotted in 2004 and was found dead in 2010 when it hung itself after Jim Tressel ran his record vs. UM to 9-1

THIS GUY JON GRUDEN, I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE HE’S FALLEN UP INTO A JOB HE DOESN’T REALLY WANT AND IT’LL PROBABLY END IN DISASTER.

“Hey you want to go see Iron Maiden with me next week?”

This is the HR person saying nice things after she explains COBRA.

Or people.

Steve Smith: released by the front office