I’ve been there for friends a lot but I also know how to set boundaries and direct them towards help. I think what’s bothering me most about the comments is the assumption that *she’s not working on herself* because she doesn’t want to go out like she used to, and because of that *she’s* a bad friend. That’s...honestly…

There are a lot of people who accuse others of being a bad friend but literally never do the work to understand that friend’s limitations and constantly ignore the friend’s signals to do something else. They’re bad friends. 

Let me also point this out in BIG NEON LETTERS FOR YOU: Socializing on the internet does not equate to socializing in real life in actual situations no matter how you want to think about it, and it does NOT equate to being well. there are plenty of agoraphobe shutins who are all over the internet. There are PLENTY of…

No, she’s expecting her friend to be like she was. What’s really irking me is how many people are automatically assuming the friend is not doing her work. Here’s the thing: even when you’re DOING THE WORK you’re still experiencing symptoms. It’s absolutely unfair to expect her friend to want to be just like she was in…

I’ve experienced them myself, and that’s all you need to know. Please stop with the hostile and intrusive line of inquiry, thank you. 

yes, in fact, sometimes it is. because there are legit diagnoses that include disconnection from reality as a symptom. this is what you all are failing to acknowledge and understand, and this is where you’re lacking compassion. her behavior is not a *choice*, it is a *symptom*. and I can definitely say that…

Why would she give anything to a friendship that doesn’t value her and acknowledge/appreciate where she is? again, this isn’t a choice she’s making, it’s a legit medical condition. we all go through shit. we need validation and encouragement, not necessarily saviors, you know? treat her like a friend and do some work…

AHHH the downward spiral. one was released at the start of HS and one after. 

yes. I’m trying to explain that it takes more than just feeling compassion to be compassionate. 

NPR did it too when Pretty Hate Machine came out in 1994. Can’t find any recording of that anywhere, go figure. They begged for an interview with Trent Reznor, but then also gave airtime and credence to those who were concerned he was spreading an “evil, satanic” message. I remember this because my mother had a…

“I mean it’s just objectively that case that Jen is being the shitty one here!”

Jen needs her friendship, not her help. She needs her friend to acknowledge where she’s at in her life and her struggles and respect it. If her friends wants to spend more social time with Jen, she needs to adapt her definition of social time, or let the friendship go. It’s not Jen’s fault, her struggles with mental…

Wouldn’t it be easiest if the letter writer just stopped expecting her chronically ill friend to be able to keep up with her non-chronically ill lifestyle? I mean if she wants to keep a friendship with this person whose life is full of shit she doesn’t have to deal with, she should be prepared to meet that person on…

“Jen and I haven’t been talking or seeing each other as much. Some of this is due to Jen’s health. She has a chronic medical condition that exacerbates some of her mental health issues, so she often doesn’t feel up to going places or seeing people.”

As someone who deals with a chronic illness, Not Online Enough, you…

“but i got mine!"

honey they’ve been cashing those checks for generations and unless you wake up to it it’s not going to stop. wtf do you think all this is about?

Men have always escalated things when they don’t immediately get their way. They throw tantrums and threaten and coerce, selfishly. And that’s been a problem for centuries. it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

Indeed. Beware white patriarchy: when the bananaphone rings, it rings for thee.

Yeah see, for the protests to be over, people actually have to listen and make changes. Some of that’s being done, but in a LOT of places it’s just lip service. Maybe you need to stop thinking about how to stop the protests and instead focus on how to stop the systemic racism they’re protesting against. Also getting…

THIS. honestly, as someone who is very familiar with this struggle, wow. You’re a good one and she’s very, very lucky to have you. Thank you so much for saying all of this. Also I needed to be reminded of it today. ♥️