I get that she took the high road by writing a well-thought-out, articulate response in the paper, but oh how I wish that in the moment she would’ve responded, “yeah, fuck you, you smarmy misogynist asshole. I attend a university and I’m at a political event but of course I must be a vapid little teeny bopper because…

“I can see by the shocked look on your face that I was kidding.” — Stan Smith, American Dad

There’s video. You can’t see her raising her hand in the beginning, but you can hear his smarmy asshole response:

He’s no cunt... he lacks depth and warmth.

he’s a cunt, and i don’t wanna hear him talk unless he does have taylor swift tickets, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I am waiting for the follow up single to “Shut Up and Dance With Me’ where the guy wanders the club trying to find the woman of his dreams who pulled an Irish goodbye because he seemed skeevy.

I’m already imagining him being called out and the first thing he says in his defense is “What, I was just joking around!” And then ‘something, something, women are sensitive’ being mumbled grumpily.

When I grow up I want an assistant whose sole job is to fling scarves for people!

Platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross Station in London, baby! You stand in line and some guy takes your picture while his assistant throws the scarf. It’s fun and cute and I waited 25 minutes in line but it was totally worth it.

Damnit, Muggles! Stop ruining everything! You can’t apparate out! You’re going to give PTSD to the next generation of Hogwarts children when that train splatters you across the tracks! Hasn’t Teddy Lupin been through enough?

DIDN’T EVEN GET HIT BY A TRAIN

Yes. Which was pre-1934. So were people like Jack Benny and Milton Berle and George Burns and Ted Healy and The Marx Brothers on and on and on.

Please. Acknowledging that vaudeville is a precursor to contemporary stand-up doesn’t preclude Appollo-style comedy from being the thing that contemporary stand-up grew out of. It’s not either/or.

I mean, you’re wrong, Henny Youngman predates that as does many of the borscht belt comedians. It wasn’t “invented” by anyone but to completely erase the Jewish contribution to the art is pretty ridiculous.

Good for her. There's no reason for her to take that shit.

I think this gif would be an appropriate response to him

At this point, all the Republican candidates are basically just playing a game of conservative madlibs, just filling in the blanks:

I feel bad for Bobby Jindal’s father as well as his children.

If they’re generally good guys who just genuinely don’t understand why the lyric is problematic, don’t quit the band. Can you say “Hey, I know you guys don’t get it but I really don’t feel comfortable performing this lyric because it reminds me of some traumatic experiences in my past.” Pull your veto card - I assume…