Btw, calling it “twit shit” doesn’t really make me want to fix this problem but I will because I am a magnanimous blogger.

Ehhh it feels like such a reach to compare What Do You Mean to Blurred Lines.

I did read her tweet as SVU not SUV...

Gigi Hadid is beautiful but she looks like a bottle of Fanta in this photo. WAY TOO ORANGE.

That’s just, like, your opinion, man

I read something the other day that said doctors agreed it was healthy to eat a WHOLE AVOCADO A DAY! I high fived myself in excitement.

I agree it’s not dumb, but it’s not for lettuce. It’s for mixing with hot sauce and dipping pizza crust in.

I’m a big fan of dark greens + fruit + cheese + nut. Pear/blue cheese/walnut, strawberry/goat cheese/sliced almonds, etc. I am kitchen/flavor challenged, but even I can manage to whip up something fancy-looking with this framework.

Preach. I lost 40 lbs this past year eating a lot of nutrient dense/healthy fat heavy salads.

I also feel like people get a little overexcited about dressing being so awful for you. I’m eating fucking salad, most of which has very little calories, so that tablespoon of olive oil is not going to kill me. It’s not like, salad is good for you, so it must be calorie and fat free. If it’s my lunch, it better have…

Their eyes...they show a dark emptiness inside...

You can take my croutons FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

One time my husband’s family had a family gathering where the main dishes were provided and everyone was asked to bring “a salad” of some sort. I was just baffled, bc damn, how many “salads” do you need? Little did I know, these people only consider it salad if it has mayo. I only ate meat and chips that day.

With a burned couch there’s no place for a lady to sit. Except on his face. Which he graciously offers for this purpose. I’m guessing .

I have such a crush on him in that movie/Terminator. DREAMBOAT

That facial shrug is everything.

I want to see “Key and Peele’s” take on this. They were pretty amazing with the Pirate Chanty.

I've seen better jokes on fuckin laffy taffy wrappers. These aren't even very clever let alone funny. That's what offends me.