regularparrot
RegularParrot
regularparrot

Instead of going to prom, I slept over at a friend’s house and we ate too much pizza, played Smash Bros and watched all three LOTR movies. As you can guess, I was not the type of teenager destined for some kind of prom-type dance anyway. Movie marathons were definitely more my speed those days, still are come to think

Who'd have thought Washington State would suddenly become a legitimate vacation option?

Making you poop is just how veggies show their love. I guess kale just really really likes you :p

That sounds fantastic! I hate that Canada isn't anywhere close to legalizing it. Hell, I'm just excited that Ontario is finally going to start selling beer and wine at the damn grocery store; that's how conservative about drugs n' alcohol my damn province is.

$150? fuck that, I'd just buy a bag of bows at the dollar store, and then just stick the whole lot of them all over the roof and the windshield while muttering about people trying to rip me off.

The stories he occasionally shares are certainly in the not awesome category.

Oh God! Why!?

That sounds fantastically nutty, like in a good way.

For the people too lazy to squirt goo from two separate bottles, new spicy ketchup goo in one easy to use bottle!

Do poached eggs even go with corn beef hash? Wtf is corned beef hash anyway? Also, I'd say she needs to add a vegetable to that menu, but I'll bet she'd pick cabbage or something, making that the ultimate meal from hell.

SJP needs to learn how to chew gum like a human being. Seriously, she is surrounded by other people and she is smacking away at that gum like a farm animal. You can't look at that gif and tell me she is doing that soundlessly. I am so glad I'm not one of the people sitting near her. Ugh!

I do not like that rule (but I do love that enough people were doing it that your school decided they needed to make a rule about it).

Your story actually happened, and you are still getting second-guessed! Isn't the world a magical place? A fucking magical place.

You gotta laugh at that (because if you don't the internal screaming might never end).

I get this at work constantly. Our freight elevator is a piece of shit, and it's always breaking. Every time it breaks, without fail the elevator repair guy will ask me what I did to it, and then when I call the DM, he will also ask what I did to it to make it break down, because obviously if it breaks, it's not

Hey, he's right to be worried, those folded chairs left up against the house could be hiding anything behind them! ANYTHING!!!

Go off-roading somewhere with lots of mud and get your car filthy!

So...they had coconut oil in paleo times? I know this whole paleo diet thing is bullshit, and if you were to get a time machine and find a paleo person and bring them back to now and offer them a corndog, they'd be all "fuck yeah I'll eat that corndog, give it!" But bread is not part of the paleo diet, and coconut oil

I sure hope I'm shitting the sadness away, because otherwise this has been a miserable waste of time!

So...are we voting for which is worse or which is better? I kind of did both...I misunderstood the assignment :(