His new number is too long to fit on it.

What a piece of shit. I hope she sues him and takes everything including the Photoshopped shirt off his back.

Gynecology anecdote: My dad is a pediatrician. When I was 13, I was poking around in the basement when I found his old textbooks, including a gynecology textbook. Being the pre-Internet pr0n 80s, I thought I'd stumbled onto a gold mine. I eagerly cracked it open, awaiting the glories I would unearth within.

Either way, I don't have to pay you. Wins all around!

Never seen any of Kroll Show, but it looks like garbage. I saw Nick Kroll's stand-up special, and it featured a bunch of cut-aways to his characters. I thought it was terrible. He's good at playing Ruxin on The League, but I don't like him as a comic, and I hate him as a sketch show character guy. It's like with…

[checks driver's license]

In defense of this review, though, Broad City really is a very good show.

Lemon scented Pledges?

You sure found a lot of words to say "burn it down", Jolie.

Wait, Kyle, are you fucking with us?

The commission wouldn't sanction that bout, unfortunately. However, Biebs vs. Gucci Mane? I'm watching that if it's on basic cable.

Is it just coincidence that I've also been bombarded with advertisements for these two shows over the past several weeks? Really?

It's more like an annoying partnership with various publicists.

Those poor people...

They would have just blocked each other, but neither one knew how.

Well do you both enjoy Pina Coladas?

Is that a coffin or a styrofoam cooler? Because it looks like a styrofoam cooler.

I want to sit under your learning tree.

Top/Bottom: D_CKS COME UP SHORT

Permit me to offer the Colossus Corollary: If you work in a place where the boss sits in the middle of the table, you are completely hosed. Illustrations follow: