Jiro dreams of Sushi but has nightmares about Kei Nishikori.

Kei Nishikori is taking over for Mark Hamil as the lead in the new Star Wars series.

"Kei Nishikori," Fowler continued, "also reportedly can throw a football over them mountains."

Jesus Christ, white people.

Most Republican athletes keep their blackness in the closet.

Everyone who lives in Green Bay is adorable.

How about just throw a colored flag if you're going to issue 15-yard penalties and ejections and throw a white flag if you're going to let them off with a warning?

Yes, Cardale, focus on your education, like Donovan did!

Sweet, thanks! I definitely will.

That sucks. I've honestly never had anything that they make other than the dunkel.

Thanks! I don't get up to Cleveland as much as I'd like to, but, I'll have to check that out.

1.) Can you recommend a good dunkel? I've recently been drinking Pious Monk Dunkel from the Church Brew Works here in Pittsburgh and it's freaking delicious, but I don't really come across many others.

Attacking this day with Conviction Unknown to Normal Terrestrials.

I thought the issue with the embarrassing rug in Florida was in Palm Beach County?

Unless you're The Vapors, the first part is the hardest.

I thought Elijah Muhammad pretty much defined the Shabazz assist.

Like, why the fuck would she leave her couch there?

Making a relevant analogy is as difficult as something else.

Deal.