Even when he’s being, um... jovial(?) he kinda comes off like a dick.

“Meh...” —B. Ripken

[and by website they mean printed newsletter delivered by pony express post]

(crowd lustily boos lack of effort)

RHCP was dinger-socking when Chris Paul still had his dinger in diapers.

Bonds is a Pretty Effective Dude when it comes to hitting instruction.

If you think that's funny, you should see Trump try and palm a basketball.

He also describes it has them“forcing you to sit on your ass” when of course no such thing is happening.

Whenever there is one and it’s in working order.

Only an asshole would complain about shortcuts and say U instead of YOU.

Straight Up.

Well the 49ers could use a good receiver, and we all know that Chip Kelly prefers Whites.

Here is the story of why my daughter is not in Girl Scouts anymore. The troop leader send out an email asking how many boxes each girl thought they could sell, with there being a minimum number. We just ordered the minimum because it was our first year, we don’t like doing sales like this, etc. We were not informed…

I love the way Thin Mints come in that convenient single serving sleeve.

Would people hate Duke more or less if their uniforms were authentic 18th century military uniforms and each year the most annoying player had to legally change his name to Fife Boy?

Creepy Todd can’t get Breaking Bad out of his system.

Looks like he will be needing a dab of lotion in his future

Goddamn psych majors.

It feels like he took a 20mg Adderall instead of a 10 before writing this.

>the internet’s slightly-smarter-than-average suburban teens