"It makes total sense that the pizza boy accept her invitation inside. I'm glad they're developing his character."

DISAGREE. She was waving at me. Totally cool, because I'll invite you to our next BFF's brunch, but don't get all up in my RBG moment.

I was there live and it was really fun!

she's so badass and better than everyone.

this seems legit and not crazy

I will forever treasure Preserve's prose due to the glory that was "backyard-cum-feasting-hall."

You are Martha Fucking Stewart. Why is Gwyneth Paltrow even showing up on your radar?

Martha is totally validating Gwyneth. I would've hope age and success brought more security, not less. Second-hand embarrassment for Martha.

You know what else increases the risk of autism?

That's why I insisted that my wife have a completely natural, drug-free c-section.

Sure: I love nature. But when nature wants you dead, fuck nature. Take medicine and science. Hell, if nature just wants you to be less comfortable than you'd like to be, fuck it. Take the epidural, and don't feel bad about it.

Yes yes, all of this is true, but...

I have a very modest 1 ct. diamond solitaire ring that cost $6,000. It is also the smallest out of my group of friends (not complaining, just stating a fact). Not sure where they got those figures for the article, but spending $2,000 - $4,000 grand on a ring is not considered flashy by any means.

There were two Captain Paltrows but one had a goatee.

I always forgive GP for 3 reasons:

Gwyneth Paltrow and Lena Dunham are part of a short list of people that I'm apparently supposed to hate but I find myself unable to.

I unapologetically love her. It's not that I don't find some of the GOOPiest stuff out of touch or silly, but it's not like she's shoving kale down anyone's actual throat. I would pay to see that, but I think that makes me a shitty person, not her.

Whatever, I love Gwyneth and I do not even care. No one is impressed with you for hating her. Seriously, move on.

$800? Sheeiiit, when I go on vacation, I stay only at places that are willing to barter a night's stay for some lentils.

$12,500 for a single vacation? Bye.