Spoken like a true Maverick.

I was a pretty keen pole vaulter in my day as well, you know. Just one of the many benefits of attending an all boys prep school!

This is a Pomsky, no? It’s pretty perfect.

I’m not opposed to the idea of killing Assad (bare hands, obviously, for the tactile pleasure) but it sorta seems like it’d turn into a whole thing. Like, for the rest of my life, I’d been known as the “guy who killed Assad” and then I’d be typecast in the role of regime toppler. I’d have to spend the rest of my life…

Wow, you’re going to get so much shit for this. Fuck it, it is what it is.

Oh, this is some Tim and Eric level shit. Amazing.

Can’t believe how many people are biting on this. Quality work.

What is this “Trump praises Irish fight” bullshit? Next we’ll be hearing about he’s praising Hispanics for being “hardworking” or Jews for being “clever”. Sweet Jesus do I loathe this administration.

Does this qualify as shark or smarm? Where’s Scocca when you need him?

Urban couture bib.

As preposterous as it seems, Comey is pretty much a trigger word for me at this point. FFS, dude.

So, as far as I can gather, a reasonable headline for this week in Trump political coverage is: Man pisses on crowd and tells them its rain, crowd thanks man for providing valuable drought relief to community.

Shether is savage shit for certain, but this one feels like Remy’s just circling her felled prey and prolonging the inevitable.

He’s pretty and talented. When are we going to learn that nothing else matters when you’re famous? How many times does the world have to tell us that before we finally get it through our thick skulls? /s

Armond White has been a bitch ever since bitches have been a category. Lakeith ain’t lying.

I wonder what his girlfriend thinks about his nuts, though?

Yeah, but we usually just call him John Thompson Returns, for short.

“Testifying on behalf of the partygoers, Hyesha Bryant told the couple, “This day affected my life and it affected my children’s lives... I forgive you. I forgive all of you.”

I say this with all sincerity - fuck absolutely everything about this photograph.

Ask Me About My New God is one of my favorite comedy albums. Before I stumbled upon it a few years ago, I was completely convinced that modern comedy was boring, reductive and hiply cynical. But Maria thrives because her comedy can take legitimately baffling turns at any second.