Celebrities: So like us.

But there are certainly people who are capable of giving consent at a younger age. I certainly consider myself to be one of them, people who were sexually active younger. I think it particularly happens in the gay world, by the way

A thought occurs:

Would you like to watch two middle-aged men—one, a limp, anthropomorphic scarf; the other, a tin-haired gargoyle —jerk each other off in front of a camera for precisely one minute? Well!

I will totally watch the anime that this young woman’s awesome story is bound to inspire.

No snack. No drink. No food. No fondling the genitals of your partner even though that’s exactly what the seats at the very back of the theater are for. No dropping the brightness of your screen down to its lowest setting and tucking said cell phone in your shirt to respond to an intrusion by the ever-present drama…

I’m too depressed to make the requisite phallus jokes. I need you to hold me down, Jez.

“That’s emasculating” is a fucking batshit stupid take. Or at least I thought it was until I heard the same guy say “YOU tell your wife what to eat” a few moments later. Who is this asshole? I’d really like to avoid unwittingly stumbling upon another clip of his show.

Baby, those are overtones. Third or fourth order at a minimum. There’s not a damned thing under about those tones.

Yoooooooo, where the basic hoes at!?

Taint no big deal to me.

Living in this political landscape feels like being trapped in a perpetually compressing mosh pit at a Cannibal Corpse concert where the band seamlessly segues from song to song so the aggression never crests, it just rises.

Pictured: Minor Traffic.

Steven Malkmus and the Knicks.

From: Jason S. Garlock

Overwhelming guilt. People like Robberson think that people of color are perpetually in pursuit of revenge given all the radical injustice that white men have disproportionally perpetuated against them, but what these people fail to realize is that what we want is a level-playing field.

I want to get the phrase “widely known for being intelligent” printed onto a business card. I’m thinking something with a subtle off-white coloring, tastefully thick, with a watermark to really make it pop.

I look forward to hearing Tom Ley tell the story of how he faced down Madison Garden’s biggest and baddest in his own words, first thing tomorrow morning.

Girl, that shit can’t be real.

Lord if this ain’t the goddamned truth.