To be fair, I reacted in a similar manner when I came home to my wife fucking some penguin.

Not all law professors

Amazing.

I think it would be more appropriate if a sex addiction clinic checked into Anthony Weiner.

Are you sure he didn’t mean to say he was going to run from science?

That Maurice Vaughn is one piece of ace! I know from experience dude, if you know what I mean.

Give the devil his due: this is an excellent tweet.

Damn it, I really thought it was Southeastern New York’s time this year.

Donald Trump is butt.

“You know what, I get it now now guys. All lives matter, including people who aren’t black people! Thank god that gorilla ran onto the field to explain it to me, or I never would had changed my mind on the subject.”

He could have had the decency to enter rehab before I picked him in my fantasy football draft. Some people only think of themselves.

“Oh no, Beta!”

Week 4 Patriots Injury Report:

“And we’re going to the frat house, to your sketchy uncle’s house, to the ATM, back to the frat house, BYAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“I hope one day this mediocre pie hits a disgraced black mayor in the face.”

“I like his energy and aggressiveness. A real leader.”

They forgot the maize.

I have a fantasy football question. What’s with everybody using a quirky e-mail sign off like “cheers” or “warm regards?” Is there some kind of contest that I’m not aware of?

You’re right, except the diarrhea runs would be measured in volume, not quantity. Rock and a hard place.

Caleb Joseph produces less runs than Pepto-Bismol.