How exactly would the NCAA prevent the NBA from signing top recruits to a viable league? They aren’t even supposed to be a for-profit entity. Are you saying they would use the court system to prevent the NBA from allowing adults to sign legally binding contracts, and prevent television networks from signing deals to…

I blame the NBA as much as the NCAA. The Rockets just sold for $2.2B. Adam Silver could get his owners to put up 1/10th of that amount and create a minor league for 18- to 21-year-olds. There would be a salary cap, same as the NBA, and a lot but not all of the top high school recruits would sign. That would still…

I was head first, until my mom showed me the arm first method, when I was about five.

Second Bush administration. Unless you mean former Cardinals running back Michael Bush’s administration.

Tyler Eifert was primed to be an elite athlete. You are a tutor. His grasp on politics might rival your athletic abilities. How much do you bench press and what is your 40-yard dash time? If every academic had to pass a fitness test first, there’d be a lot less academics in this country.

I know! We gamely take the insults when snow falls and the entire South gets into one giant traffic accident, but if you start calling people wimps for OMG LITERALLY DYING in the 80s, Yankees get all pissy about it.

People in New England are as soft about heat as people in Texas are about cold.

Cool story, people from Austin are soo badass!

Because after 9/11 this country went all-in on fellating anyone wearing a uniform. This is the end result-sporting events become weird nationalistic rallies and any criticism of police or the military is verboten.

You ever seen a sunburnt fish? Makes you think.

I’m pretty sure the whole ‘Pluto: Planet or No?’ debate has led us to where we are today. It used to be that there were basic facts everyone agreed on. My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas. It was easy, there are nine planets, planets are cool, space is cool, we’re all on the same page. There aren’t a…

He convinced the Spanish government that they owe him money?

You just have to try to pronounce it as if you just finished drinking whiskey from a firehose.

I mean, Jason White was a Heisman winner and finalist like three years in a row and went undrafted. Sometimes these things are simply legit NFL scouting...

The Memphis white and blue Bengals helmets should be treated as a war crime.

Turns out your godly numbers don’t mean much when you stat pad against bad teams

That’s what they get for those obnoxious red helmets.

Because to Trump and therefore to the White House, someone saying something mean about Trump is far more important than any of those issues.

And lo, the sky opened up and took a dump on their state in revenge.

Trick question, no one ever watches the Jaguars.