lol he already issued a statement saying James Comey exonerated him, I think he doesn’t understand words.

blame GM Lebron

I think I’d fuck Rovell and kill Stephen A.

It sucks because conservatism has some good ideas to offer the country, but the GOP is no longer a credible messenger. It’s the party of personal responsibility (a great idea, if sometimes overapplied), but the leaders refuse to take any. The party of fiscal responsibility (not a bad thing at all), but the party is…

No, we press him to death with large stones, like civialized Christians.

We need to start conducting this witch hunt properly—we’ll throw Trump in a lake and, if he drowns, he’s innocent.

How is it possible for a person to be so very wrong about something? How do you get by in your day-to-day life? I hope you have friends and let Veda ones looking out for you. You need protection from your own foolishness.

The funny criticism of Hillary Clinton’s supposed “coronation” was the implication that the Democrats of 2015 had a super deep bench of up and comers that she kept from running. The reality is that between 2004 (when a State senator from Illinois gave a keynote address before the DNCC) and 2016, not a single Democrat…

“You know what I like.”

A lot of times if you go to a disadvantaged neighborhood, you ask the kids, ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ You get about five different answers. But there’s a thousand. We need to show people the other 995 and how you get there.

I know there’s very little chance of this working, but upon hearing about this proposal I’m sure the management teams of Moneygram and Western Union shit a collective house worth of bricks.

Trump gets owned harder and more often by Khans than the Starship Enterprise.

“Why doth the peasantry fret so o’er this ‘Black Death’? ” ~Lord Pence, c. 1350 

“For some reason, this issue of Native Americans has become a paramount issue for General George Armstrong Custer.” - Lt. Mike Pence, at the outbreak of the Battle of the Little Bighorn

“For some reason, this issue of smallpox has become a paramount issue for the Natives.” Colonist Pence, 1616

“For some reason, this issue of icebergs has become a paramount issue for the passengers.” Captain Pence, 1912

“For some reason, this issue of atomic bombs has become a paramount issue for the Japanese.” - Mike Pence, circa 1945

That is how the lottery works. When your team is bad, you have a higher likelihood of getting a high pick. I know this might be hard to understand, but percentages are not sorcery. Chill out, Merlin.

Not pictured: LaVar Bear, in the background yelling at Lonzo Bear, LiAngelo Bear and LaMelo Bear. “Where are your damned shoes?!?”