Sadly, you’re doing way too much thinking.

If you made a Venn diagram of Christians and Trumpsters, “Dumb White Motherfuckers” would be dead-center.

Remember the last time he denied something? I can’t wait for the Oprah special on this one where it turns out he really actually died from testicular cancer many years ago and he had a secret evil twin ruin his good name with all that doping.

blue moon is a microbrewery?

Ted Cruz was a law school debate champ and former Solicitor General for the United States. He’s a smart cookie. Cruz’s problem has never been that he’s dumb, it’s that his views are abhorrent.

Someone should tell Mr. Cruz his toupee is on backwards. Perhaps a bi-product of an individual who spends the majority of time with their head crammed up their own ass.

I’ve played on some basketball teams where punting the ball into the stands was probably the best strategy available. I’m just disappointed I didn’t think of it at the time.

What if they take it one step further, and put a ceiling over the track, then generate a little tail wind the whole way? And maybe have the track be one of those moving walkways they have at airports, to give the runner a little more of a boost? Or give the runner those wheelie shoes, so when they get tired they can…

Absolutely heartless, Sarah. I, and surely many others, feel badly for the brands.

Good to know I am equally qualified to be to the FIFA council.

If someone asks you a question — any question — that begins with “Who won the,” your wild-ass guess should never be “North Korea.”

Thank god corruption in professional soccer isn’t dead, otherwise nothing in this world would make sense anymore.

My heart just grew three sizes

Finally, somebody said it. Nobody cares about your struggles. Maybe don’t live in the antarctic.

A change like sending the whole franchise to Canada? That’s really the only acceptable change at this point.

Mike Matheny praised the fan for taking the bullet “the right way,” noting that glory boy fans in Chicago or Kansas City would’ve demanded a stoppage to the game and drawn much more attention to themselves.

how did this dumb shit get out ofthe greys?

It’s good that Judge Taylor (who was apparently addressing Coach Strong as if he were actually present in the courtroom and has players not recruited by him under 24-hour surveillance and wearing magnetic boots on a metal floor to lock them into place) lives in a place where having a USF diploma has caused her no…

Still a danger because Rove has what are unquestionably boobs