You should hear A. Philip Randolph's routine about the stewardess and the duck.

She sounds like an asshole but Holly Hobby Lobby is a pretty great name.

I feel the same way about the tiers but combine the top two, because I'm a poor, and I add in a running watch, because I do that sort of thing.

Serving Two-Hearted Ale on tap instead of warm Amstel in a can has never been the difference in getting someone laid. Seriously, how many attractive women (or men) do you know that are into beer?

Or right after playing a hockey game. Domestic lite beers are the best when sitting there after a game and bullshitting with your teammates.

I had a buddy who fancied himself a scotch expert and insisted I try Johnnie Walker Blue (way overrated actually). At $35 a pour, he bought me one. I grabbed it, tossed it back as a shooter and said, "Not bad, not as good as Jack Daniels though."

Same goes for concerts. Sip on whiskey, stay out of the bathroom, don't miss a single song.

I have to disagree, but mainly because I'm a lightweight. I stick with beer because if I hit the whiskey I'll be the drunk fool dancing shirtless on the dance floor 5 hours later.

Its as easy as Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

I think the most important factor of determining if you are a beer asshole is how you interact with people who are not enthusiasts. Don't shit on other people's preferences, and never turn your nose up at a host's beer selection. You can try to educate, but the moment you start turning down free beer you are an…