If she’s not technically violating the current dress code then management needs to look into rewriting it. Of course if she’s at all smart she’ll notice the part about having to button up and realize that was written specifically for her. If she’s really is doing it for tips, then she’ll probably go work for your…

She had a column a little while ago where she posted her worst questions and answered with snarky bullshit. The problem was none of those were quite distinguishable from the drek she took seriously in the regular column.

Man that sounds shitty.  Ongoing issues that management can easily deal with but actively refuse to are the worst.

Suggest your wife flirt back with her so aggressively that it gives the waitress pause. I tease, but being a friendly person with a jovial sense of humor, this tactic used to work when I would dine out with my deeply introverted and generally uncomfortable ex-husband. He hated having to do the back & forth with the…

Maybe you wouldn’t be in this awkward position if there were some female managers? Just spitballing here. 

I need to know the secret code for telling young wait staff to not flirt with the ugly, middle-aged man because it gets them better tips. I get it. It probably makes for more money to be flirty with ugly, middle-aged men. However, for some of us, it makes the meal uncomfortable and also makes things awkward as hell…

Whatever approach you take, absolutely involve your manager and preferably HR (assuming a larger company) in the decision and the conversation.  Do not have a conversation about the issue alone with the waitress - it could make her uncomfortable, and opens you up to all kinds of liability if you are inappropriate or…

On the one hand, I hate dress codes in general. If you can do good work in nothing but a thong, you should be able to wear it, dammit. On the other hand, showing off your tits at a restaurant implies some nature of “this is what we do here” -- think Hooters -- and I can see the restaurant not liking that kind of…

Hang on. Why are you denying him his right to be uncomfortable? Reasonable people are uncomfortable when more-then-normal skin is shown in situations like this, if for no other reason than if someone thinks you’re looking at it, whether you are or not, they’re going to make judgments about you that are less than…

Let’s figure out what exactly “not technically violating the dress code” means before we assume OP is a pig.

Jealous wives and girlfriends are still customers.

The question is how many buttons can be undone and still look professional. Ask yourself if a male server had the same number of buttons undone, would it look unprofessional or otherwise be an issue. If not, then leave it alone. If so, proceed cautiously as this whole situation could go sideways really fast.

If this is a chain place, kick it up the ladder. If not, ask the owner. 

Ahoogas witness?

Roman Cockolic, born and raised.

I agree with Ms. Waitress. Policies need to be crystal clear. If there is nothing in the policy that says how many buttons you can have undone, then it should be in there. If only because you’ll get someone decides you wear it completely unbuttoned over a t-shirt or something.

I’m more of a Seventh-Day Assventist.

In the 90s, by the grace of God, I survived this in a retail environment. I was a supervisor, but also a friend of the employee. I approached it as friendly advice, like “eh, you do you, but maybe one more button.  A lot of creeps come in here. ” It was a stupid move, but worked out.  I don't know that I'd do the same…

Is she wearing her cleavage shirts for religious reasons?

“Put your tits away. We’re a classy joint, not a Hooters.”