The then current church leaders made up new rules to appear more mainstream. If they can make up new rules today, I think it stands to reason that they've been making it up all along.

It is a faith that made up new stories about Jesus who was a Messiah for certain followers of an Abrahamic religion (which goes back thousands of years.)

Do gay Mormons get to have their own planet too?

I won't bash these people and their obvious struggles. I extend no such courtesy to religion.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

That's why I avoided saying burgers.

'Recess' is just returning carts.

The US threw society out for profits and 'freedum' years ago. My only hope is that I die before the empire collapse into itself.

Every quarter a corporation needs to show a profit or the shareholders revolt. Doesn't matter what the economic realities are, they must show a profit.

That all depends on where you deploy the tin foil.

2012 was a record low year. That's what I went by.

4th choice: Vaudeville.

An unplanned teen pregnancy used to be a big reason people married. Not only is that no longer the case, but unplanned teen pregnancies are also on the decline.

I discovered 'a means of alternative sexual gratification' long before I discovered the internet.

Obviously. Otherwise, the grey alien brainwaves will turn me into a sasquatch. Who would want that?

I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything in life the way that turtle is enjoying that brush.

I'm in Pittsburgh eating Fritos.

Boy howdy. You sure showed him, champ.

I wonder how much it ultimately cost unilever to advertise their competitor's product?

None of that is gaining any traction, champ.