Some of those definitely sounded like they required some follow-up paperwork.

Isn’t this literally playing on one of the TV channels in ‘Idiocracy’?

Ah. A modern-day Le Petomane, if you will.

In a way, aren’t we all a fart-recording Doug from New Jersey?

No mention of the fact that “Father Of The Pride” was delayed by the real-world mauling of Roy Horn by one of his tigers? That right there should have been reason enough to bury it before it ever aired.

I think the quirk-for-quirk’s-sake criticism is spot-on. Napoleon Dynamite was the kind of movie you would expect to be popular in an era when Wes Anderson was becoming a big deal with Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums. That said, I found the lead character’s dorkiness refreshing. He wasn’t a secret genius or a…

I wish Thanos would snap his fingers and make half of Trump’s administration disappear.

I do have a kind of sneaking suspicion that, even if it’s only on an unconscious level, some part of Tom Cruise wants to die making a Mission: Impossible movie and be The Guy Who Died For His Commitment To His Craft.

Although, when he flies over the handlebars with no helmet, it takes you out of the moment a bit because, well, the rest of the movie takes place in the afterlife. 

I think you’re sorta misunderstanding how Rotten Tomatoes works. That 97-percent isn’t a gauge of how much every critic liked it, like everybody who reviewed it said it’s 97-percent perfect. It’s just the percentage of tracked reviewers whose reviews were positive enough to qualify as recommendations. So even if, say,…

Keep in mind these are kid-sized, even though they are very nicely decorated. For some reason I can’t post an image, but you can see it here: https://www.gamestop.com/toys/arcade1up-rampage/157866

Keep in mind these are kid-sized, even though they are very nicely decorated. For some reason I can’t post an image,…

See also: Toys R Us. 

What about “Orca?” Nobody cry when Jaws die. Everybody cry when Orca die.

Rampage was perfectly fine kaiju action, competent, entertaining, relatively forgettable. Compared to Pacific Rim: Uprising, it was Lawrence of goddamned Arabia.

I must be slightly older than you, Winona Ryder playing Spock’s hot mom did it for me.

Hoodies are a suspicious item of clothing; apparently, this, not so much.

Roseanne’s Family

This is unfair to the other hardworking people on the show. ABC should have continued it without Barr. Call it “Roseanne’s Family” like NBC did with “Valerie’s Family” after Valerie Harper left her show.

Tell you what... When someone does it better, faster or cheaper I’ll consider it. Until then, pound sand.

Might as well just say “Stop breathing air.”