Wayne Rooney’s achievement is even more impressive if you consider that he moved to a foreign country without even speaking the same language. 

The instant oatmeal has exploded all over the roof of the microwave 

That’s some hot instant oatmeal there

You’d think that ripping the rim off to earn a few minutes-long breather would be a bigger part of his game. 

“Floyd was flagged for unnecessary roughness”

That would depress the hell out of the sun.

I can’t possibly be expected to read and digest this like some sort of Wahlburger but take your star for the obvious strong effort involved

nonverbal

I saw it a mile away, and the journey was no less satisfying.

“The day that man allows Gritty to appear, those things which are well made will fall into cofusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true.”

I don't know, I'm now starting to think Dudley can indeed defend shit 

good point, i don’t think Barry should be a Supreme Court justice either. 

No, for the same reason as Portnoy doesn’t get to use “that was in the past!” as an excuse.

Are saying jokes in poor taste are the same as sexual assault?

I mean, I know you’re just trolling, but that’s a pretty shitty troll.

Nah I hate the fucking Yankees

When Barry gets nominated for the highest court in the land then I’ll have to consider the question. The stakes do matter after all.

We’re (literally) all Barry Petchesky

stephensonlance Name this unit?

Honestly I would take a trip to Lithuania.

Team Good Job, Good Effort