Except...the painful and degrading porn she was forced to endure IRL already existed. He didn’t have to conform anything to his vileness there. Actually, he found the type of porn that outmatched his wildest fantasies.

She’s lying to you ;).

Amen! there are entire books written on the abuses in porn. Countless adult actresses have described horrible rape and abuse—are they all to be disbelieved? By feminists? It’s bullshit. Just the James Dean rape scandal alone—there were like 7 different women describing harrowing experiences. And they were big…

You’re right. I’m sure if someone kidnapped you and was raping you repeatedly, and was like, ‘now let’s watch some really violent porn and then I’ll force you to re-enact it with me,’ you’d be fine with it.

This is my complaint too. I get the standard tropes of mainstream hetero porn are meant to a heightened version of reality — it’s meant to show a fantasy, I get it. But because this type of porn has such dominance (probably because it has the biggest market) it begins to function almost as propaganda. Especially for…

Not saying that the guys I had sex with as a teenager and young woman were super into consent, but porn sure helped normalize some uncomfortable sex acts I was then pressured into doing. It also made it so that I constantly gave but never received oral sex (because going down on women doesn’t play well for the camera).

People get more defensive if they think there’s a risk someone’s going to criminalize shit they enjoy. Which I guess is a legitimate concern in some places, given the porn ban in Utah.

Of course, but not sexually. Why do the children of households where there is violence repeat that behavior? They see all sorts of families when they go out in the world, don’t they? The thing is that they don’t learn how to have healthy interactions in private by coming across people at the mall.

She’s not saying it’s the sole reason it happened. She’s saying it made it worse.

Well, I guess that invalidates what she thinks about her own victimization. She needs a man like you to explain it to her. Right? Right?????

“So many men are absolutely no good in bed and have to be re-educated on how to be good lovers because of the miseducation of the porn industry.”

Wow, the number of porn-defenders here is pretty damned high.

It’s not complaining. It’s telling the truth, and people need to hear it. When people enjoy porn, and many if not most people do, they will bend over backwards to avoid thinking about the abuses connected with it. We only want to imagine happy, empowered women as the performers. We only want to imagine people using it…

*hug* I’m so sorry you went through that, and I’m so relieved to hear that you were able to get away from him. I hope you’ve been able to get the help and support you need to heal from your marriage, and if not I hope you know it’s not to late to seek support even if it’s just here online.

I’m definitely not anti-porn, but I will absolutely say that a lot of it that has crossed my path has been frighteningly misogynistic and purposefully degrading to women.

There are few things that can twist a person like porn will. I highly recommend “No Fap hard mode” for those wanting to quit porn all together. Porn fucks with you like you would not believe.

I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry and I’m thankful that you felt safe sharing this here. You’re not alone. More than one woman close to me lived through relationships like this, and porn was involved in their abuse.

I don't think any of us can say that porn didn't make this situation worse. If that is her truth I am not here to take it from her.

My ex husband used to do the same to me, he forced me to watch porn and do the same things we watched, sometimes he used to force me to have sex 5 or six times per day, I felt like a sex slave. If I was sick or sored I needed to apologize to him and compensate him the next day. And I never told this to anyone but I…

While I’m sure her abductor would have been a monster no matter what, I do have to say I agree with her stand.