I agree with you. She knows, she’s staying, and he’s willing to be better. Let it go. Sometimes, especially if people are willing to change and be better, it can turn a terrible situation into a positive one.
One of my friends, her parents just celebrated their 45th anniversary. She told me that many years ago, when…

These are two really good points. We can make a bunch of waffle-y ethical arguments about who honesty really helps and whether it’s best to hide or disclosing something painful, but when someone asks a specific question point blank (which is often happening because they already suspect what the truth is) and the other…

But that’s very much a “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around” situation. It’s a shitty situation on all counts and there is not “good” answer, but if they are otherwise happy who benefits from him changing his story now? He’s already admitted to cheating and they’ve somewhat moved past it.  He hasn’t done…

Completely agree.

This guy fucked up bad. He then fucked up at least equally as bad by not telling the truth. The whole “I was trying to spare her by lying.” is complete horseshit. He lied to try and squirm out of painful consequences for himself primarily. Surprise...there is no escape. Speaking from experience because I did the same…

I think he could have down played the feelings he had for the person he cheated with. He could have downplayed any premeditation (“I was drunk and next thing you know we were kissing” When actually they had been flirting for a long time leading up to it). He could have downplayed how many times it happened. Maybe it…

Does this dress make me look fat?

Assuming she could only plausibly find out the truth if this guy tells it to her now, what purpose does that serve? He lied years ago, and that lie has set. That lie allowed her to move on and, ultimately, deepen her commitment to that relationship. As a result, telling the truth now will cause a significant amount of…

You’re wife didn’t bring it up again because she wants to know more. She wants to know if you’re trustworthy, and she thinks more information will help her know for sure.

Came down here JUST for that... on my life, this appears to be the hardest lesson of that early adulthood transition - some things don’t get re-dos.  Some decisions you make are fucking permanent and there is no scripted resolution where everyone lives happily ever after and things work out.  Reasons why it’s all the…

This crisis you’ve been suppressing isn’t meant to be resolved, it’s meant to be endured.

“Lying to someone you love to protect them from knowing what you’ve done puts you on about the same moral ground as a firefighter who rescues someone from a building he set on fire.”

And I was shocked to learn in these comments about all the people who *don’t* wear underwear to bed and aren’t sleeping nude. Sleeping naked, sure I get that. Porky-pigging it with a shirt and zero bottoms? Some sort of pajama or loungewear situation without underwear?? What???

I can’t fall asleep naked (I’ve actually packed pjs to change into when I’m ‘staying over’ at a partner’s house), but I get yeast infections more when I wear underwear to bed. I only wear them when I have my period. 

I don’t change my pj bottoms every night, so I sleep in undies bc I don’t want vaginal secretions all over my pj pants/shorts.

I sleep in a tank top and (cotton!) bikini underwear.

Honestly, as someone who basically never wears underwear and has spent years having friends question this (thus spawning spirited discussions), I’ve come to the conclusion that the biggest factor here is the type of vulva you have. Like, the shape.

I would also like to petition for making “”granny”” underpants acceptable. I long ago gave up on “cute” underwear and I’ve never felt freer. I like to wear dresses, so commando is a no go (sorry, I’m not letting my LABIA touch the bus like some XOJane reject) but granny panties... yes. They are to my belly button,…

My vagina has asthma.

“I mean, going underwear-free doesn’t mean you have to greet your roommate with your legs spread wide open when they walk in the door.”