It’s my personal belief that anyone whose work requires physical contact with the customer should receive at least 20%. I just think it’s a big deal. Masseuses, estheticians, stylists, even tailors.

I’m a Jif Natural kinda girl. Yes, I know it’s punched up with molasses, but it’s STABLE. I am done churning peanut butter at 7AM, when the coffee’s still perking and I need to get my blood sugar up out of the floor.

I wondered if anyone was going to ask about the Spanish onions. Those are the brown ones, for all you kids in the back, and they’re the best for cookin’. I prefer the red ones for raw eating, bc they’re mellower. Everything else can take a seat.

You say toe-mato! I say tah-mato!

You should pre-saute the banana. I suggest rum and brown sugar.

I am a s’mores monster but I’ve never tried banana! That would go great w the peanut butter. I make them at home in the microwave with chocolate chips and it keeps them in place.

It literally means garlic and oil. You’ve been lied to, my friend.

I kinda want to hug you right now.

All of your ideas are good ideas.

The last Bloody Mary I drank at Chili’s 2 in LAX just about took my head off, which is more or less what I need if I’m about to cross multiple time zones while crammed into a giant beer can with a whole bunch of other humans.

Court-side seats to other people’s spectacular drama AND a perfectly legitimate excuse to be hammered at 6 in the morning! LEGIT.

The books are about food, though, not thinly veiled rape fantasies.

When I went to get my passport renewed at sixteen, a Post Office employee held me and my father up for a hour demanding to see every form of photo-ID I had. First of all, I had AN EXPIRED PASSPORT. I also had a school ID, a Costco credit card and a Disneyland Annual Pass. What did she finally accept? The Disneyland…

You see this a lot with kitchen appliances, bc people think brand symmetry is a significant design feature. But kitchens need to *work*. A company that makes a good cooktop doesn’t necessarily make a good refrigerator or microwave. My ovens and stove are Kitchenaid, but the dishwasher is Bosch. GE french door…

Unfortunately no, I cannot see it bc it’s hard as hell to lay hands on.... 😔

I have to try this with lime juice... (gimlet girl’s gotta gimlet)

I’m still holding my breath for the plug-in Subaru, otherwise I’d be out there this weekend. I cancelled my Model 3 reservation bc I got tired of the drama (and waiting to become a member of that drama - Y THO?)

But... but.... HE’S TRYING TO BE GOOD! Which I can respect, even though he could have also subbed the Velveeta with vegetarian refried beans. Ro-Tel + Rosarita’s is my beloved go-to.

I’m retracting my reservation this week in favor of the forthcoming Subaru plug-in.

Nobody likes a drag. He probably *did* witness ethical violations, but it was boring shit that nobody cares about, like eating the conference room snacks meant for customer meetings. His super-serious attitude about rule-breaking could be the result his cultural upbringing, too. Or maybe he’s just a punctilious…