Following HotCarl’s lead, by the time I’d get through with you, your name would be Raphael Manlove ;) 

Oh, an Impala getting sucked down into a local watering hole... they’ve been watching too many Discovery Channel African nature specials up in Toronto, me thinks.

Incorrect. The ‘Use Your Discretion’ speed limit ended in the mid 1990's after a string of fatal high speed crashes. The speed limit on secondary highways is 70 mph and the interstate is 80 mph. People regularly go about 8-10 over on both and I’ve rarely seen the Montana State Patrol bothering to pull people over…

This story is a statement on how utterly fucked up America is, where a stupid ass Gen Z teenager that’s barely old enough to vote can make millions of dollars playing a dumbass video game and then get high as a kite and kill innocent travelers and himself with his $250k sports car which he honestly had no business…

I just went through this exact scenario with my parents. My parents have never, EVER bought a new car ever in their lives. We’ve always bought used cars about 2-5 model years old with 30-60k miles for around 10-13k, and then sold them before they hit 100k and rinse/repeat ad nauseam my entire life. Well, my parents…

The finishing touch for this rather lovely and unmolested specimen of Probe would be the vanity plate ‘LANA’.

Because, in tangent with the Space Force theme, you know that Space Force is going to be battling the aliens who like to utilize probes of a certain vari... it explains itself really.

*spits tea out all over keyboard*

All the ‘good’? Um, come again?

You, sir, are truly a f**king moron. Go stick your head in the sand with the other Trump sycophants, but don’t you dare bitch and moan when his lunacy results in a significant economic downturn because we can’t afford to pay for his handouts to the…

I imagine the 911 call went something like this:

911 Dispatcher: “911, what is the location of your emergency?”

Witness: “I’m at the 17th Street Dentist’s Office just east of 17th St and Penn Way. We’re going to need a major extraction.”

This looks nice... but if Ford really wants to eat Toyota and Chevy’s lunch, they are going to need to offer the 6 speed manual when the 2.0 diesel launches. There is still a dedicated following of manual enthusiasts that are diehard Taco buyers because we can still buy a manual 4WD that isn’t a total stripper 2wd…

Oh, the Malibu/Cutlass. I have deep personal experience with these meh twins. Back in 2002, middle school me was getting too tall for the backseat of our ‘97 Nissan Sentra, so my parents decided it was time to upgrade. We of course went to the dealership that was run by my evil aunt’s cousin Tyler, who was about as…

I grew up the backseat of a red 5 speed 1990 Justy AWD exactly like the one pictured in the commercial. My grandmother bought it after my grandfather passed away in March of ‘90, she traded in an ‘85 LTD on it, as she claimed it was ‘way too much car for a widow’. She regrettably got hers without air conditioning and…

Cheetolini’s stunning stupidity strikes for the... 1,019,279th time.

Seriously, f**k this increasingly senile piece of human excrement and the hordes of mouthbreathing ultraconservative neo-American lemmings that shill for him.

Unfortunately we got the President we deserved for a country that is inherently selfish as…

I third this. I live in Colorado, and prices on used Tacos are INSANE. I had to fly to Ohio to buy my 2005 Taco, which is a bit of an odd duck in that it’s a 2.7 4 cylinder 5 speed 4x4 Access Cab with the SR5 package, aka the most unwanted Taco (everyone either wants a RWD 2.7 5 speed or a 6 speed V6, for some reason…

I can speak personally to the exact scenario you described. I live in Denver, and late this spring I decided I wanted to buy a Toyota Tacoma. I wanted a very specific model: a second gen 2005-2011 SR5 Access Cab 4x4 with the 2.7 L4 and a 5 speed manual. Which is a pretty odd/rareish combination. I found several in…

Speaking of VW sexy times, I boned a couple of really hot dudes in the back of my mom’s 2002 B5.5 Passat Estate back when I was a teenager. That flat folding rear seat made for quite the spacious frolicking area. My mother was never any the wiser about it (I always put towels down because black VW cloth interior...…

... there will be an episode of ‘Portlandia’ inspired by this escapade. Or at least there should be.

Oh Portland. Always something odd going on there.

Dear Teenage Self:

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy either of those two effin’ Mercedes Benzes. When your gut says NO, no matter how much you want it, WALK AWAY QUICKLY.
You will regret it for the next decade of your life. Quit worrying about ‘being different’ and just drive a stupid Honda Accord or Toyota Camry like…

1st Gear: I talked to a Buick product planner at the Chicago Auto Show when the first rumblings of the potential sale to PSA were coming to light. The new Insignia based Regal, and Regal Touring/TourX wagons ARE STILL COMING TO THE US MARKET THIS YEAR. The Opel sale will affect the NEXT generation of Buick products...…

I think that everyone in the neighborhood needs to dump their trash on these asshats’s lawn one night and leave a note saying ‘Clean it up or we’ll treat your yard like you do: A LANDFILL’.

I know the GM of the dealership who is starring in the ad. His name is Richard Herrod III and he’s a pretty cool guy. White Bear Lake Mitsubishi is one of the top Mitsu dealerships in the nation (They sell more Outlander Sports and Outlanders than any other dealership between the coasts) and they have top notch…