When I was 12, my mom had just gotten a brand-new 1993 Dodge Intrepid, and it was the first car I (or any of my friends) had seen that had a key fob that could lock and unlock the doors remotely. (Locking the doors was accompanied by a short blast of the horn.) Also, as it is important to this story, bear in mind that…

Good boy.

Counterpoint: That sounds like hardly any work for a great joke.

Teenage me:
K&N air filter
“10 extra horsepower.”

“This will be the last mod I make..”

We didn’t have an automatic for a while, and when we got one, I kid you not, my son asked where the clutch pedal was.

This one is more of a lie-of-omission type of thing:
My kids are entirely unaware that automatic transmissions have been invented. I’m going to let them live in this blissful ignorance as long as I can. Hopefully well past when they start driving.

Ok. Dumb idea time.

Don’t worry. The countries with more expensive petrol make it up on cheaper healthcare and broadband and mobile service while they’re taking their 5 or 6 weeks of vacation right after starting a new job...

Everyone here is wrong (as usual). You need this 2015 Dodge dart. Cosmetic damage only, $3900.00. I wouldn’t waste your time with the carfax.

yeah, Americans know nothing about crafting entertainment that the whole world watches, right?

That’s not a typo, Alanis. They know what they have.

based on the headline, I’d say an older pickup truck and start your country music career

Fantastic reporting, Ryan. Give ‘em hell.

I love stories like this where you guys are asked or threatened by lawyers to not publish something, and not only do you go ahead and do it but publish another article about how they tried to stop you. These types of stories should be filed under the tag “Pity the fool”.

Why don’t we take this out back, Bibendum wants blood

Goodyear: “Your Honor, despite the fact that all the livestock have in fact left the barn, we would like to request that the barn door now be secured.”

Which means they’re definitely coming out with an electric supercar in 5 years.

how dare you

Asshole. This is all your fault.