We’re all old, my man. I remember watching this video in high school.

What the fuck is that statement? Like he’s fucking Picasso or something, creating avant garde art. Chill, my dude, and take the L.

You’re schwinning me over

Inject this directly into my veins

Thank you, Billy Haisley, for defining “tautological” for us imbeciles.

It’s being used sarcastically to note that this is something every team should be able to do.

“If you are not against them, you are with them.”

He also hit Yadi in the balls with a 102 MPH sinker

NBD just averaging over 7 WAR a season. Think he can get to 100?

That Sam Miller piece was so much fun.

But then you wouldn’t have learned about severability

Let’s name all of the weak ass Eastern Conference teams Lebron has beaten the past 8 years:

Vodka tonics are better than gin and tonics and there’s no debate.

Deadspin, we get it. You like Russell Westbrook. The rest of us think he’s a top 10 (not top 5) player and that he seems like a huge prick. You got to relax.

*Merrick Garland. He has a weird name.

“I live my life as a science experiment”

I “run hot” so I often will only sleep with a top sheet, unless it gets really cold

Ahem excuse me, I use it

*huge sigh*

Access journalism, baby!