It doesn't matter, all of you are gross. YOU ARE GROSS.

I need No-Red guy to go on a date with Allergic-to-Crunchy woman.

So full from all the gratuities in mah belleh.

I love him for "The Rundown". I don't need another reason.
"Get outta here monkey!"

I'M NOT WHITE YOU FOOL.

That's when a guy walks up with the missing forty dollars and tells the woman it was on the floor by their table. To which she says "bullshit" and storms out saying that I'm a fucking thief. Moral of the story is, don't give small children lots of cash.

I imagine that guy probably paid out of his own pocket to make the…

Hate Fox News. Love hot guys. I'll take him.

I swear, racists are the least creative people in the world. They haven't progressed beyond "ching chong" when making fun of Asians? Losers.

*does not include the small business loans we were offered.

I'm sure it is pure gossip, but damn right Goop should be calling her ex and reminding him of his parental duties. All too often one parent likes to forget they are a parent when their marriage ends and they find a new exciting relationship. If you are dating a parent and you AREN'T in second place, then I am judging…

Yes. It is very, very difficult to speak to women exactly the same way you would to men by actually allowing them to complete sentences and not talking over them.

There is also, truly, no justification for Facebook posts this long. Ever. Everrrrrrr.

Men get very angry when you challenge their entitlement to do whatever the fuck they want.

But I really want Aunt Bernice and Jen Esposito to have a zany 70s web series where they just either crash parties or solve the mystery of the week, scooby doo style.

It's like this (anthropology. Lots of free time. )

In Soviet Russia, bread save you!

You're lucky! I usually have to go to a beauty supply store to get anything "for black hair," unless I'm at a Walgreen's or CVS in an "urban" neighborhood.

I remember agonizing over which curly pudding/pomade/whatever to buy from Miss Jessie's. They were (and are) so damn expensive that I didn't want to make a mistake.

My mother comes from the Isle of Man, which is about halfway between England and Ireland. There's a place called the Fairy Bridge and it's considered wise to greet the fairies when you're passing it, or they might get angry with you and you don't want that. When Mum was about 10, she had a girl friend from England who…

One thing that struck me from reading Sidney Blumenthal's book, The Clinton Wars, was that Monica Lewinsky was a lot smarter than the prosecutors had expected. They thought it would be easy to trap her into incriminating Clinton, but she turned out to be very focused and certain in her testimony. She made the lawyers…